Are You Afraid of Musicals?

Chapter 4.6: Darkness

Dani's pov:

I'm waken up by a sharp pain that's making it's way up my arm, the effect of the painkiller I took last night fully gone, so I'm quick to get up to get another one but my body betrays me.

The moment I'm fully standing I feel a wave of dizziness washing through my body and I inevitably fall back on my bed, hitting my head against the wall when I don't use my hands to ease the impact.

I lay still for a second, waiting for the dizziness and grogginess to go away as the events of last night return to my head.

Cause my head hurts, my hand hurts and I feel like a truck just ran over me, but Gabby gave me one last chance and I'm going to take it.

I regret a lot of things, I regret the first drink with Mack, I regret the two shots, I regret accepting that stupid joint... but I don't regret anything of what I said to Gabby, not even what I nearly said.

I feel so weird, I feel ashamed and I'm afraid, but I'm also a little proud of myself. Saying all those things was the scariest thing I've ever done, even when the alcohol and whatever drug that entered my system were helping me a bit.

I've never done something like that, I've never opened up to someone, I've never let anyone in. But yesterday, to Gabby, I did.

She gave herself to me, she trusted me, she let me see her that night after the dance, she gave me her first time and I know that it's not the same, that what I did after was awful, but yesterday I let her see me too.

I was not even thinking about that when I did it, what I said just came out, I just told her the truth and once I started I couldn't stop. Now that I think about it I feel pathetic, small, weak, but that's the thing, I'm not afraid of letting myself feel around Gabby.

I don't fully understand it, I've always been alone, I've never let anyone in cause I know what that means, people will use your weaknesses and fears against you, I know that no one would stay if they saw me, the real me, but somehow with Gabby, seems different.

She had every right to leave, I gave her every right to leave, but she kept giving me opportunities, she still does.

So this time I'm making things right, I'm not letting her down.

When I feel like I can get up without falling again, I get up, quickly reaching my nightstand and taking a painkiller to then go to the bathroom to get some water to shove it down.

By now my hand should be a lot better and I'm starting to worry. My parents are coming tomorrow and I can't let them see it, but I can't go to the hospital either. Mother does not like hospitals or their bills and I don't want to ruin my parents visit even before they get here, I don't even know which surname they want me to use either so... the hospital is not an option.

But it's ok, I will fix my hand today after school, after apologizing with Gabby and making things right.

Ignoring how just the thought of my parents visit made my heart race, I wash my face and when I step back into my room I realize it, it's still dark outside.

I groan and go to my nightstand to pick my phone, flipping it up and letting out a sigh when the screen shows 5:30 am.

I don't have to leave until 8 am so I consider for a moment going back to bed, but I know that I'm too nervous to go back to sleep, my hand hurts and I'm just going to be overthinking.

I hit the mirror with my left hand, my dominant one, and my regular routine before high school it's became a challenge ever since, so having a bit more time it's good anyways. So I decide to get started, making breakfast, choosing my outfit, doing my make up...