Are You Afraid of Musicals?

Chapter 7.7: Falling

Gabby's pov:

When the door opens I don't even turn my head, I stay sitting where I am, looking forward with my gaze fixed on the clock as I watch the seconds pass, completely ignoring the opened history book laying on the table in front of me.

It's been like this for two days now, this is the third one, and I still have four more to go.

Two hours of detention every day after school, sitting in this classroom completely alone with nothing else to do than homework, study or basically just loose my mind.

And I've never been in detention before, but I don't think it's supposed to be like this.

Because there are no other kids in the classroom with me, there's no teacher bored to death sitting behind the desk.

It's just me, completely alone.

The only thing that's preventing me from thinking that they just threw me in here and forgot about me is that every so often, a teacher opens the door, sticks their head in to make sure I haven't run away or set the place on fire, and then leaves again without a single word.

The first day it surprised me, the second day it was annoying, but the third day is just frustrating me to no end.

And I tried to convince myself that I didn't care, that each time that the door opened my anger didn't grow... but it is growing, and I do care.

Because it doesn't feel like I'm in detention, like I'm being punished for disrespecting a teacher and leaving the classroom, not really.

It feels like they're giving me... space, time, like they've built this quiet little corner of the world for me.

And I hate it.

I guess they were trying to be kind in their own way, calling it detention to keep it official but meaning it as a pause, as a way to offer me time.

Time to study, time to catch up, time to try to somehow miraculously fix the disaster that they know the exams coming next week  are going to be.

What they don't understand is that it's useless, that I've been here for almost two hours rereading the same page of my history book because halfway through I realized that my head was somewhere else and that I didn't get a single thing.

Because yes, the silence actually lets me breathe, not having anyone around looking at me as if I was broken is refreshing... but being alone is both a relief and a nightmare.

Today makes three days since I was banned from her room, three days without seeing her, three days since Andrea told the doctor to proceed.

Gina's been updating me, she's been telling me that both my mom and the doctor are trying to delay the surgery as the hospital works in ways to stop it, she's been having hope for the both of us... but I know that not even she believes what she's been telling me.

That it'll be ok, that she's getting better, that Andrea can't do this... but the truth is, she can, we both know she can.

And she will.

Because I know it's going to happen, that it's inevitable, and that's the worst part. That I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't even know if Gina would be able to tell me before it happens... but I know it's coming.

It's been coming since the first day, like a fist frozen mid air, with all it's weight aimed at me, never hitting but never letting me go either... and it's exhausting.

Those first days, it was the not knowing what was killing me. I couldn't stop thinking about her because no one would tell me anything, no one would tell me if she was even alive.