𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 ★ charles leclerc

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, maisie

❝ am i allowed to cry? ❞
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

I sit in the car, the cockpit feeling tighter than usual as the Monza crowd roars around me. Another qualifying session, another lap where I feel just... behind. 

P3. It's not terrible, it never is when you're in a Mercedes, yet it's not enough. Not when Lewis is sitting on the front row again. And not when my boyfriend is grinning like he owns the place with pole position.

The power that fraction of seconds hold in our sports haunts me.

I unclench my hands from the wheel and flex my fingers. They're stiff from gripping too hard during that final push. I can't stop replaying that last corner in my head, wondering if I left something out there. Did I brake too late? Did I pick up the throttle too soon?

The Tifosis are chanting Leclerc's name like he's already won the race. I can't blame them, Ferrari at Monza is a religion, and today, Charles is their chosen one.

I take off my helmet and wipe the sweat from my forehead, the cool air against my skin. The debrief is coming, and I know what it will sound like. They'll talk about strategy, tire management, slipstreams. It's always about the slipstreams at Monza. And yeah, I'll nod along, give my input, but deep down, I know what it comes down to. I need to be faster. 

Lewis walks past me, calm and composed, like he always is after a strong quali session. He doesn't gloat, he never does.

I shake my head and take a deep breath when I see Cecilee coming up to me. "Toto wants to see you." She doesn't even congratulate me on a good job or at least mediocre job.

I frown. "What?"

"It doesn't look good at all." Okay, I know we had potential for pole but I don't think P3 is that bad for him to be this angry.

"Okay. Uhm..." I take a moment, thinking about what to do next. "I have to get my weight checked, my interview done and I'll meet him." I prioritize my next moves.

She nods, gulping.

I jump out of the car and put my helmet away before heading for the FIA's weight scale. Once this is quickly done with, I wait out until I'm called up for my interview.

I haven't spotted Charles directly yet as he was celebrating with his team and is just getting his weight checked.

There's not enough time between my interview and him finish up for me to congratulate him beforehand. I slip on my cap, trying to compose myself.

Paul di Resta stands there with the mic in hand, waiting for me. I step onto my spot, taking a mic from one of the staff.

"Maisie, P3 today. Can you talk us through that session? It looked very tight out there, especially in the final laps."

And now, I spot him. Charles looks ecstatic, of course he does. The pole at Monza, in a Ferrari, with these fans? He's living a dream I can't imagine.

Our eyes connect now, just as I'm about to answer. He smiles widely, not able to maintain his joy in. I bite back my own smile, trying to stay professional at the moment.

I take a breath, keeping my voice steady. "Yeah, it was tight, as expected. This track always comes down to very fine margins, and it's all about getting everything together at the right moment. The car felt good, but I didn't manage to find quite enough in that final run. It's frustrating, of course, but we're still in a strong position for tomorrow."

Paul nods. "How difficult was it to manage the slipstreaming? We saw a bit of chaos at the end there with drivers jostling for position."

I let out a small sigh. "It was tricky, yeah. Everyone's trying to maximize the tow, but it's a fine balance. If you're too close, you lose time in the corners, too far, and you don't get the full benefit. We did the best we could in the circumstances. Hopefully, in the race, it'll be a bit clearer."