holding back from you

'this could be our room'

Tristan's POV

The two weeks we had off seemed to fly by because before I knew it we were packing to leave for the US tour again and our plane was tomorrow morning at one. We'd spent the majority of the time off either cuddled together in my new bed watching films and writing a few songs or with my family doing silly things like playing poker or some other variation of board game, whilst I obviously enjoyed the time off without any stress of work and being able to spend all this time with Brad just being ourselves I guess I still found it a little irritating that I couldn't actually go and do regular couple things with him, I couldn't just take him for a picnic in the park or go for a moonlight walk by the river like I desperately wanted because that's the downside to the success, no privacy and everybody wanting to know everything about your life...

Everything with Brad felt different to any relationship I had previously encountered, nothing was rushed and neither did I feel the need or want to rush anything, I knew that Brad was nervous about taking a step with our physical relationship but I respected that and actually didn't mind holding back, just holding the younger boy in my arms and sharing kisses with him was enough to satisfy me for the next ten years if it needs to be because just simply being in his company was by far good enough for me.

"Brad have you packed yet? we have to leave in half hour" I called into my room as I began to collect my toiletries together into a small green travel bag. I paced back into my bedroom to see Brad struggling to seal his overflowing suitcase, I laughed gently to myself at how adorable he looked trying to seal the impossible case with his cheeks turning a light shade of red and his curled hair sticking slightly to his forehead "how long have you been struggling with this?" I teased, tilting my head to one side as I continued to laugh at the teenagers irritation "not that long" he huffed. I walked over to the younger boy as I placed my hands on his hips and lifted his small build onto the suitcase "sit your little arse on here and I will zip it up okay?" I said before placing a peck on his lips and successfully sealing his case. At that moment my brother barged himself into the room "you all packed boys?" he said cheerily, I nodded at him as Brad hopped off his suitcase "I'll take them to the car for you" he offered as he pulled both our cases off the bed and out of my room. "you know if you wanted, this could be our room" I mumbled as I tangled my arms around Brad's hips and brought his face close to mine "really?" he said with an almost childlike sense of awe in his voice, "yeah, I doubt you fancy going back to your family home any time soon and we're not here enough to consider buying a house of our own and I know it's not much but" my rambling was cut off by Brad's lips being crashed against my own, "sounds perfect" he beamed as he pulled away from the kiss.

I stood outside my family home with a sense of sadness hanging over me, the thought of not seeing my family again for god knows how long kills me a little bit, "we'll come see you when you get back okay?" my mum whispered as she pulled me into a tight hug "September yeah?" she clarified, I nodded gently as tears began to form in her eyes, "I'm gonna miss you" I sighed before my dad pulled me into a crushing hug "just know that we are all so bloody proud of you Tristan, make sure you look after Brad okay?" he said gently to me, "being with him these past two weeks is the happiest I've seen you in so long" he finished as he released me from the hug. Myself and Brad took it in turns to say goodbye to my family before the pair of us climbed into the back seats of the car taking us to the airport.

"I am really sorry you know Tris" the younger boy mumbled quietly from where he was curled tightly against my side "sorry for what?" I laughed as I played with his messy curls "sorry for being so awkward and being a virgin and the cutting" he whispered, I lifted the teenagers face and connected my eyes with his "Brad I don't mind, I don't mind waiting to have a physical relationship because I just enjoy spending time with you, just listening to your laugh and feeling you close to me is literally enough I promise" I said before kissing his forehead "and never apologize for the cutting because you're the strongest guy going okay?" I whispered before softly kissing his perfectly formed lips. I spent most the car journey texting James who had arrived at the airport stupidly early - due to the fact Brad had fallen asleep cuddled tight against me - and we were both pretty bored and excited to see each other.

As we pulled into the airport I felt Brad stir gently against me "we're here?" he questioned sleepily, I hummed in response which made him slowly make his way out of the car before we both dragged our suitcases towards terminal seven where Joe had told us to meet him. "JAMES!" I heard Brad shout as he released his case's handle and threw himself at our band mate "I MISSED YOU" he yelled whilst James laughed loudly before Brad moved away from James and ran at Connor who was stood a few places behind James. "Hey!" I said, pulling James into a hug and then Connor. We spent the next three hours waiting for the plane in a non stop four way conversation, it felt like the first day back at school when you hadn't seen your friends for six weeks and had to tell them everything they'd missed. Nothing ever seemed to change between the four of us, no matter what happened we were always like brothers and now that we were back together I realised how much I had actually missed them. As we boarded the plane into first class Brad charged towards the only four seats sat in a row in which we ordered ourselves James, me, Brad then Connor on the far right. "Joe said something about a water park for the new music video" James was saying to which Brad's face lit up like a five year old on Christmas "oh my god that sound's so cool" he cooed "don't laugh at me dick head" he teased at the Scottish lad sat to his right who had giggled at Brad's reaction "play nice children" I jeered at the pair of them before the four of us laughed, "I think he also wanted to get another Disney girl for the video" Connor added, receiving a heavy sigh from Brad "can't we just have a video where it's just us four having a good time without some stupid love interest female just to give into that retarded fucking stereotype of a boy band video EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT A BOYBAND" he whined loudly from next to me, "Brad I think you should get some sleep dear" I teased, "don't call me dear, when did you become a granny?" he retorted with a wink. Eventually within about an hour both Brad and Con had drifted to sleep leaned against each other whilst James was asking for my advice on his girlfriend Kirsty, he discovered in the two weeks we had off that she'd cheated on him for the second time, "obviously I'm hurt but like I love her and I don't want to forgive her but somehow I always go running back and I hate it" he mumbled as his eyes filled with pain "James I promise that you can do so much better" I re-assured him as my oldest band mate gently fell asleep on my shoulder.

Maybe that break was exactly what we needed, I have a feeling this trip to America is going to be the best thing to happen to us.