holding back from you

'lucky you trust me isn't it'

"Tristan I said I didn't want anything" I whined as my boyfriend lead me through the field just near our hotel "is this even safe? like what if one of the fans outside noticed us sneak out the back and are following us" I asked which triggered a soft laugh from Tris "stop worrying child, you should have known I wasn't going to get you nothing anyway" he sighed, "actually I'm not even a teenager anymore" I teased playfully, Tristan stopped and turned to face me with a devilish grin on his lips "oh is that so?" he whispered before pulling my body to his and joining our mouths together.

We continued to walk through this field for about five minutes until Tris paused and pulled a blindfold from his jacket pocket "I want it to be a surprise" he cautioned before placing the fabric over my eyes and leading me with only my hand, "lucky you trust me isn't it" he laughed, "I mean I could be leading you anywhere" he jeered before slipping his hand out of mine, "Tris?" I mumbled "can I take this off?", I assumed that him leaving me alone meant I was supposed to take some sort of initiative and remove the cloth that Tristan had placed over my eyes. After my eyes adjusted to the sunlight that flooded into them I saw a small checked red and black picnic blanket laying on the grass with three packages wrapped in silver paper and a straw basket in the centre. "happy birthday" he announced as he gestured for me to join him, I took a seat to the left of him on the blanket before he handed me one of the silvery parcels, when I unwrapped the box I looked at him quizzically, "it's a box of our firsts, I've been saving it for a while but I want you to have it" he beamed, I took the lid off the brown box that was in my hands and looked inside, everything inside the box looked so familiar, "the spoon is from the first time we went for coffee" he mumbled looking awkwardly at the floor, I smiled at him before pulling out a piece of paper that was the only item I wasn't familiar with "that's our first ever texts to each other" Tristan said from beside me, I spun around to him and pulled his face down to mine before connecting our lips together in a brief but passionate embrace "you're perfect" I whispered "I fucking love it" I beamed before Tristan handed me the other two gifts. After unwrapping the final two gifts the kind of confused me, one was actually a black suit complete with a black tie whilst the other was a laminated piece of card with the words BE READY FOR 7PM printed in fancy letters, "care to explain?" I asked but Tris just shook his head and laughed "you'll have to wait and see" he teased.

We spent a further hour lounged on the blanket in this woods eating the food Tris had made for me before we decided to head back to the hotel "the boys want to see you before tonight" Tristan said as we approached the hotel loby, "are you going to tell me what's happening?" I whined receiving another head shake from Tris. When we arrived back at our room I was surprised to see James, Con and Joe sat on the edge of our bed. "I know boys" Joe said bluntly, "Know what?" I questioned confidently, "about you two" he sighed "everybody knows"... I felt my heartbeat stop for a moment and nausea began to rise through my body "someone got a photo of you two kissing in the woods today, care to explain?" Joe said coldly, "James and Connor are refusing say a word so I'm hoping that you two can enlighten me".

I looked at Tris and our eyes connected, he nodded slightly before both our focus' returned to Joe, "we were planning on telling you, honestly we were... but complications got in the way" Tris stammered, "how long?" Joe directed to me, "about two months" I murmured, the room filled with an awkward silence "what do we do?" James piped from the corner, all four of us turned to face him. "Tristan and Brad have two options really don't they, deny it or confirm it... just realise that whatever you choose to do will mean nothing will be the same again, not just for you but any of us" Joe cautioned "of course I'm happy for you and god it was fucking obvious but just think, what if it goes wrong and the impact that'd have on all of us" he warned before smiling and leaving us in the room. "So what are you gonna do?" Con asked, I looked slowly around at my three band mates in turn before formulating my sentence "we should release a video, confirm it and that's that" I stated, the other three all looked at me and then at each other. "I'm not ashamed at who I am and I guess that if everybody knows then we can stop having to sneak around or worry about who see's us holding hands and having to think about who is near us when we want to just hug" I explained. Tristan gently placed his hand on my thigh "If that's what you want then we'll do it, I'm so sorry it's ruined your birthday though" the older boy sighed, I pecked his cheek gently "actually it's quite a nice present really, the present of not having to hide who I am anymore".