Taste (H.S. / A.U.)

Chapter 55

ELOISE DUPONT

It doesn't matter how many times it has happened, I will forever count a morning waking up tangled in a bed with Harry as a good start to the day. The way he hums lightly, almost a snore but not quite fully developed. The light tear stains that collect in the corner of his eyes and stream across the bridge of his nose. The twitches his nose makes, a lone curl draped across his forehead, arm tucked beneath a pillow that he clutches onto through the night, delicate details I memorize in the morning. His mouth always part to show the edging of white teeth hidden behind full rosy lips, everything is an invitation to study him, bask in the beauty, and appreciate.

Harry runs hot in his sleep, so often despite falling asleep together we start to drift in the nighttime. The first time it happened I was insecure since we had previously stayed tangled together, but now only portions of us remained intertwined. Either arms or legs were attached, clutching on to another like it's the last night together, but a space rests between us for both of us to not tern into a combustion of heat in the night. I actually appreciate it, because in the morning it's easier now to slowly glide my way apart, being able to dash to the bathroom if needed, or just to slide over in the bed and rake in his beauty more.

This morning the skies were clear, brighter than they had been in so long it felt like the rain from yesterday washed over not only my fears, but any and all remnants of my past that had been lingering and clinging onto me so desperately.

Slow mornings stole my heart away the same way the color green has, the sound of Harry singing in the shower to himself off key despite the fact we both know he could belt it out perfectly, the smell of his shirts, and all the little things that have added up to falling for him. 

Casual? Pop-star boyfriend ?/ FWB / friends that occasionally sleep together? None of it, Harry was so much more whether either of us were okay with admitting it to ourselves yet. After everything that happened yesterday, something in me shifted in the way of understanding. How one person can come into your life and turn so much of it upside down to realize what you have longed for, the commitment of consistent affection. All I ever wanted was love, and for the last few months that is exactly what has fallen into my lap, yet I continued to push it down and harbor the idea that it was casual. Nothing about Harry was, because for all intents and purposes, my heart was made up.

Harry didn't push my boundaries in the rainstorm because he "wanted me to get over it", my fear that has wrecked me emotionally due to Chase trauma. He pushed me because he wanted me to experience life, he wanted me to live fully, and he knew that the only way to fix things was to get rid of what was dragging me down in the first place.

Since we met, all my favorite moments in the last few months have one connection: Harry Styles.

Despite the curtains being drawn, the room was bright and I wondered how he was so content sleeping still. The light hums melted together with the sound of drowned out television that played in the background. Harry put it on before falling asleep for me to drown out any of the storm sounds that could have still upset me.

Attempting to uncoil my legs I leave Harry, a soft curl of a person that was hidden almost entirely away from sight by thick covers, only a few parts of skin peaking out to remind me just where my heart is. It lays right there, in the palm of his hand for the taking whether he wants it or not.

Plucking my phone up from the other side of the room on a table where it laid since dessert from the night before, a mess of dirty plates with partial eaten melted ice cream, muddied up with chocolate and caramel were all strewn across the space. I wish I could say most of the food was eaten at the table, but Harry had a better idea of where he wanted to lick it off of, and that resulted in a second shower for me after all the activities were done. There was no way I would be able to sleep with the amount of sticky substances that were layered over my stomach, but it was worth it.