Lost on the Road (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 8

Kabanata 8

Nakaalis na si Lucas. Pansin ko nga na parang nagdadalawang isip pa siya sa hindi ko malamang dahilan. Hindi ko ginalaw ang perang binigay niya, Itinabi ko na lamang iyon sa kabinet, just in case.

Kanina ko pa tinititigan ang lock screen, ni wala akong balak na buksan at kalikutin ito. Pakiramdam ko kasi may mga crime lamang akong makikita rito. But the longer I held it, the stronger the pull became.

I couldn't resist anymore. I grabbed the phone off the edge of the table and unlocked it. Wala naman palang masiyadong makikita, mukhang nagbura na ang manyak na iyon.

Whatever, magf-facebook nalang ako.

I logged into my account, and there weren't any new messages. Just the usual group chats and friends sending funny posts or memes.

Then, out of nowhere, a thought crossed my mind. Should I stalk Harris? Nakabalik na kaya siya sa Maynila?

I typed his name into the search bar, but nothing came up. My heart gave a little jolt, he must have blocked me.

Mapait na lamang akong napangiti. Malinaw pa sa akin ang sinabi niya bago niya akong iwan. Sawang sawa na siya sa ugali ko, diba? Oo nga pala. He was done with me. Right. That's how it ended.

I should've been used to it by now, but the sting of those words never quite faded. The more I thought about it, the more it felt like a part of me had been left behind, discarded.

It wasn't like I wanted to reach out to him, not really. But the thought of him being so far away, and the way he made sure to shut me out, hit harder than I expected.

Binura ko ang pangalan niya at pinalitan ng pangalan ni Mama. Si Mama lang naman ang may facebook sa kanila ni Papa.

I quickly scanned her posts— mostly pictures of her with friends, updates about the family, and the occasional meme she'd share just to keep up with the times. I smiled to myself as I saw how much she tried to stay connected with everything, even the online world that seemed so far removed from her usual quiet life.

But as I scrolled through her feed, I couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. I had grown up with their love and support. Sana pala nakinig nalang ako sa kanila. Sana hindi ko na sila sinuway. Ngayon, kahit anong pagsisisi ang gawin ko, hindi na ako makalapit sa kanila dahil hiyang hiya na ako.

Pinahid ko ang luhang tumulo sa pisngi ko at sinave ang cover photo ni Mama na kaming tatlo. Sinave ko rin ang ilang family picture namin. Pumunta ako sa messenger ko at nangangati ang palad ko na kumustahin siya, kaya lang ay natatabunan ako ng kaba at hiya.

I closed Facebook and opened the photos app. As I scrolled through, I came across several pictures—most of them were family photos, all from Lucas's side. Almost every one was taken during some family gathering or special event.

One photo caught my attention: it was of his grandmother, father, uncle, and his mom. His mom stood out so much, she looked exactly like Marilyn Monroe, her beauty undeniable. I couldn't help but pause on one image, where she looked effortlessly glamorous, the kind of beauty that seemed untouchable.

Then I noticed Lucas's brother in another photo, standing with their parents. They all looked so confident, so comfortable in their perfec world. It's obvious they are wealthy, not just in money but in the way they lived. Their life seemed easy and worry-free, full of luxury.

Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mapagkumpara. Hindi naman kami mahirap ng pamilya ko, but we didn't have the same lifestyle. We worked hard for what we have, especially my parents. Every penny was earned carefully, and we didn't take anything for granted. We didn't live with that kind of security and comfort.