Reaper's Touch

Gus: Making Peace

"I wonder if this is how people always get close: They heal each other's wounds; they repair the broken skin."
-Lauren Oliver

Gus was in love.

All he could think about was Hex. He thought about her when he sketched for his portfolio, when he set up and broke down the artists' stations, when he went on food runs or scrubbed the floors. Every moment of every day, she was on his mind. He longed for their nights together when they could be alone.

"I can't stop thinkin' about her," he told Jeff one day as they were closing up the shop.

Jeff laughed. "You got it bad, son."

"I mean... it almost hurts..." Gus said.

"You're in love. That's what happens."

"Sometimes I'm not real sure if she's into me though... or if she's still hung up on Adam. Some days it'll seem like it's me, and I think, 'cool'. Then other days she'll say somethin', mention somethin' that makes me think she wishes he was here."

"She probably does wish he was here. We never truly get over losing those we love. But, the feelings she has for you are just that- feelings for you. Feelings for Gus. It's different than anything she felt or might feel now for Adam. Make sense?" Jeff said.

Gus shrugged. "I guess."

But he wasn't fully convinced. The biggest thing he struggled with was simply feeling unworthy of love, which led to his fear of losing it.

This time with Hex he was trying hard not to be as clingy and needy as he always was in relationships, but it was a daily struggle. He wanted to be with her every minute. Being by her side made him feel something he craved, something he could only describe as safe. And that feeling of security, warmth and acceptance was like a drug to him.

———————

That afternoon, Gus went over to Ember's place to hang out with Hex. West was at work and Cricket was still in daycare, so for the first time since moving back to Chicago he finally got the chance to hang out with Ember too. He had really missed her.

"Let's go," Hex said as soon as he got there.

"Where we goin'?" Ember asked, grabbing her purse.

"The bridge."

She raised an eyebrow. "You go to that bridge we used to sleep under? Like, just to hang out?"

"Yeah. It's pretty peaceful," Gus said, putting his arm around Hex.

"Peaceful? We slept there with a loaded gun every night!"

"Well we aren't sleeping there now, and no one ever comes around there anyway," Gus said. "We just sit and talk. We do it almost every day after work."

"So that's where you go?" Ember asked Hex. "I figured you were at Jeff's place or something."

"We can be alone at the bridge," Hex explained.

"Ah, I see. Very romantic," Ember said with a chuckle. "Alright, fine. Bridge it is."

Though she was initially willing, when they got to the bridge, the look on Ember's face made it clear she wanted to be as far away from this place as possible. She had her arms crossed over her chest and couldn't get comfortable enough to sit down next to Hex and Gus on the slanted wall. Instead she stared down into the ravine where Adam had died, her face expressionless.

"It's weird being here," she said softly, visibly shivering despite the warm afternoon. "Why do you guys like to come here?"

Gus looked at Hex, who shrugged. He honestly had no idea why they kept coming here. Hex always took the lead and he just followed, happy to be with her no matter where they ended up.