Reaper's Touch

Gus: Stuck

"Sometimes, you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell."
- Carrie Fisher

When Gus walked into Ember's place a few nights later, he could feel the shift in the atmosphere. It was tense. The air was heavy and hard to breathe.

Everyone was in the living room. Hex and Ember were sitting on the couch. West was sitting in a kitchen chair that he'd pulled over in front of the couch, and there was an empty one next to it. Cricket was sitting in front of the TV engrossed in Paw Patrol, wearing his Spider Man pajamas and eating a pack of fruit snacks.

"Hey, Gus," said West. "Come in here."

As Gus walked around the couch, the first thing he saw was Hex's face. It was red and streaked with tears. She was glaring at him. The sight of her face sent his stomach plunging until he was lightheaded. What was wrong? Even Ember was crying too. Gus silently sat down next to West.

Wordlessly, Ember held something up. When Gus saw what it was, he went cold. It was a crack pipe. His crack pipe.

"Today," Ember said slowly, trying to keep her voice level through her tears. "My three-year-old son was playing on the floor in here. Guess what he was using to roll his Play-Dough?"

Gus closed his eyes. "Oh my God, Ember. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No," Hex said, standing up. "No! You don't get to say SORRY, Gus, like you fucked up and forgot to buy milk or something! THIS IS SO FUCKED UP! Not only that, but-"

Hex paused. Gus's whole body ached when he saw fresh tears run from her eyes.

"You lied to me. You lied to my face," she said.

Gus looked down. "Baby, I'm-"

"Don't call me that!"

"I'm sorry. So sorry," Gus whispered.

Hex glared at him. "Fuck you!"

She got up and left, slamming the door of the apartment behind her. Ember sniffed and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her hoodie.

"Gus, this is literally the worst time in the world for you to relapse, to do this to Hex. It is the worst timing ever. And now guess what? You've put me in a position where I have to put my friend out onto the street," she said.

"Who? Hex?" Gus asked.

"No, Gus! YOU! Hex can stay if she wants. She's not the one using after promising to stay clean. She's not the one who put my son's life at risk! YOU DID!"

Gus looked down again. "I'm really sorry about that, Ember. I really am. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt Cricket, ever."

"It doesn't matter," she said softly, shaking her head. "I love you, Gus. You know I do. I always have. You're like my little brother. But... I love my son more. And if it's a choice between his safety and you being here, I will choose his safety every single time."

"I don't blame you, and I wouldn't expect you to do anything else," Gus mumbled.

"Cricket is getting a good childhood if it's the last thing I do, and one part of that is making sure he NEVER knows what this is!" Ember said, shaking the pipe in her fist. "And you took that away from him!"

"I thought I hid it well enough. I'm so sorry. I never wanted this to happen!" Gus said, and he really meant every word, but did it matter?

"Gus, every single one of us has been where you are right now," West said, speaking up for the first time.