Reaper's Touch

Hex: Cold

"Dead people are just like you and me, they still want things. They look at us all the time, and they miss being alive."
― Peter Straub, "The Throat"

If Gus had his way, all of his time would be spent with Hex. Every. Single. Minute. But Hex needed space, needed time alone, to think. It was a personality conflict they kept running into. She would turn down an offer to hang out, and Gus's face would fall, his whole demeanor visibly shrinking.

"Why? You wanna break up with me?" he would ask every time.

"No. I love being with you. I just need some space," she would say, but she was never sure he fully understood that. Gus was so used to being abandoned, it was always his first thought and biggest fear.

Whether she wanted to or not, they were going to have to come to some resolution. Back when she was with Adam, if he'd had a similar complaint she would have told him to grow up and get over it. But the way she had treated Adam was now a source of shame to her and one of her biggest regrets. She was having to work against herself to be kinder. Gus understood the whole world through emotions, while she understood the world as a war, a war she was always fighting, sometimes losing and sometimes winning. But always fighting fighting fighting for survival, trying to outsmart her enemies.

"Gus, babe, we need to talk," Hex said as gently as she could on a bright sunny afternoon after Gus had gotten off work. They were still at the tattoo shop, and he was putting Moon into her carrier to take back home.

Gus immediately turned to look at her. There was real terror in his eyes.

"Oh shit, what did I do? I'm sorry, really sorry," he said.

Hex was annoyed, but she took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and let it out through her nose. Instant calm washed over her. It was a technique Ember had taught her to help control her anger.

"You did nothing wrong. I just want to talk," she said patiently.

"Well let's talk right now. What's wrong? What's going on?" Gus asked.

Hex shook her head. "Not here. The bridge."

The bridge had become their safe spot, as it had always been even in the days when Adam was alive. It crossed over an abandoned railway track that never saw traffic anymore, so it was unlikely other people would be around to hear them.

"Okay, let's go," he said.

Gus was speed walking, and they didn't speak. Hex could feel his anxiety radiating off him. She took another deep breath and slipped her hand into his. He glanced at her, and she smiled. Then she lifted the hand and kissed it. She was learning how to be affectionate by watching Ember and West. It seemed to come so naturally to them. A touch on the back here, a kiss on the neck there, while passing each other in a room or sitting on the couch together. It happened so effortlessly, so simply.

Hex could tell the small amount of physical touch had reassured Gus, and she was pleased with herself for making progress. She didn't want to lose Gus. There was no one else like him in the whole world, and she doubted anyone else could love her this much, with such purity. She knew she was falling in love with him too.

At the bridge, they sat down side by side on the slanted wall.

"Well?" Gus asked.

"Well, I wanted to talk about you and me. Who we are. We're very different people, Gus," Hex said.

"Okay," Gus said.