Reaper's Touch

Lucas: Neverending Winter

"At the Summer Solstice, all is green and growing, potential coming into being... At the Winter Solstice, the wind is cold, trees are bare and all lies in stillness."
-Gary Zukav

The long winter inched forward. Snow, biting winds, hard beads of ice, and the occasional blizzard became the monotonous soundtrack of the never-ending season. It was a depressing time. Everything was ghostly white and gray when the sun was up and dark like death when it went down.

It was March, and Lucas still hadn't found a job. Each time he applied, he forced himself to go cold turkey to take the drug test, but he rarely made it past day three or four, the climax of withdrawal, and even if he did make it longer, there was usually still enough in his system to drop dirty on the test. By then, he'd be so sick anyway that working was out of the question and the employer would shut him down on the spot. A few times he'd pulled off the "flu" excuse, but most employers were smart enough to know a junkie when they saw one.

Marcus was also starting to question them about when they would be moving out.

"After you and Nora leave, Dylan's planning to move in. This space is just too small for all of us," he would say frequently to Lucas.

Originally they had planned to stay with Marcus for just a few months, but between everything that had happened and everything that was still happening, moving out was proving to be impossible.

Nora was the only one bringing in money. Their savings was depleted, almost gone, and there was no hope of moving out. The tension was so high in the tiny apartment it was hard to breathe there. Nearly everyday Marcus made a comment about how it was time for them to move on.

"Dylan has put his whole life on hold for you guys. He can't put his place up for sale. He can't start selling off furniture. He has a mountain of packed boxes he can't get into anymore. I need a date, Lucas. Preferably a date in the next month," Marcus said one evening while making dinner.

"I don't know what to tell you. We don't have enough for rent," Lucas replied.

"Yeah... here. You know there are other places to live in the city, right? Why don't you go move where Gus and his girlfriend moved? They don't have much money either."

"Riverdale? So you want us to get shot? Nice."

Marcus sighed. "I didn't know they moved there, okay? But still, there are cheaper places outside of downtown. The suburbs have tons of cute little houses. Safe."

"Nora wants a place here in the city. It's where her job is. She knows where everything is and feels at home here," Lucas said.

"And how come you haven't found a job? You go to interviews practically every day!"

Lucas rolled his eyes. "They just never pan out."

"Why though? You have a job history from a respected company. My manager even gave you a positive reference after I begged him to! I don't get it. Not even McDonald's will hire you! It doesn't make sense," Marcus said, eyeing Lucas suspiciously.

Marcus knew next to nothing about drugs, especially hard drugs like heroin and fentanyl. Lucas figured he could tell he was sleepy all the time, spoke too slowly and seemed dazed, but Marcus just chalked it up to Lucas's frequent bouts of "flu", which he attributed to the coldness of Chicago's winters. The possibility that his little cousin could be a full blown junkie was obviously not something he had ever considered.

The winter was hard on Nora too. She hated feeling like the whole world was on her shoulders. Lucas wasn't even taking his meds anymore, and she couldn't help him. He was still grieving Jeff, and he and Gus hadn't spoken in weeks. He spent his days alone shooting up or wandering the city looking for work and came home a ghost of his former self, a faint wisp of spirit that wound itself around her at night, cold and lost.