Reaper's Touch

Lucas: All the Lost Kids

"This is the price you pay for having a great father. You get the wonder, the joy, the tender moments – and you get the tears at the end, too."
– Harlan Coben

"Lucas?" Nora asked softly.

In the darkness he could only see the outline of her, still as a wax figure.

"What do you mean Jeff is dead?" she continued in a shaky voice.

Lucas was staring straight ahead at the wall. What did he mean? Maybe Hex and Gus were playing a joke on him... but no, they would never be so cruel. Maybe he had heard Hex wrong then. Maybe he really was dreaming. Maybe... oh god this couldn't be real! "Please wake up!" Lucas begged himself, but when he didn't, he knew it was all true.

Lucas swallowed. "Driving to the airport to pick up a kid. Car crash. Gina called Gus."

"And Gus is gone?"

Lucas nodded. "Hex said he didn't even look at her. She heard the conversation through the phone so she knew what happened, but Gus wouldn't respond to her questions, like a zombie. He just got up, got dressed and left without a word."

"Are you okay, baby?" Nora whispered.

Lucas was still staring ahead at the empty white wall.

"Dead. Jeff is dead," he whispered.

It was this, hearing it out loud and from his own mouth, that finally swept away any remaining hope. Lucas's breathing became fast and labored, until he was sobbing.

"Nora!" he cried.

Nora threw her arms around him, and he buried his face in her neck. She put a steady hand on the back of his head as he wept. He hadn't cried like this since the night he'd found out his father was dead. Now he had lost a second one.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she murmured.

"It can't be real! This can't be real!"

"Shh..."

"I don't get it! Why would this happen?"

"It was an accident, baby," Nora whispered, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

The roar of the blizzard outside grew louder, and Nora loosened her arms.

"Don't let me go!" he said tearfully. "Please."

Nora's own tears were now rolling down her face as she held him more tightly. "I'm here, sweetheart, I'm here..."

They stayed like that for almost an hour, allowing themselves to grieve. Lucas was sure they would grieve every day for all the days they'd known Jeff. And then they'd grieve for all the days they'd planned for him to be there. Lucas had dreamed of him walking Nora down the aisle and shuffling through the awkward father-daughter dance at their wedding. He had pictured him at his first show, the source of the loudest applause. He'd imagined him holding Gus's and Hex's first baby at the hospital and Gus beaming with pride.

All of those dreams dissolved before his eyes. They were wiped out. Completely annihilated. Not one of them would come to be.

———————

In the morning, Hex was there before Marcus left for work.

"I'll let them know you need a few days off," he told Lucas sympathetically before heading out the door.

Hex sank into a chair at the kitchen table. She was pale and looked completely exhausted. Even her red curls had gone limp.

"I searched for him all night," she said softly.