Reaper's Touch

Lucas: C(r)aving

"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret."
-Jim Rohn

Lucas boarded the bus just before the sun rose. He was freezing and exhausted, on top of being heartbroken over leaving Nora, Sam and his mother. He'd bought himself a black coffee and was sipping it as he watched the people boarding after him.

A young couple caught his eye. Junkies. It was something about being an addict himself that made spotting other addicts easy. His mind yearned for a fix, and he wondered if they had anything on them. He had the thousand dollars cash from Brian and could easily buy a hit. Surely for such a long trip they were carrying enough dope to keep them from getting sick. He could escape the horrible pain of leaving, the guilt and loneliness and fear. No one would know.

Lucas's heart was racing as he watched them nod in and out of consciousness. He tore his gaze away from the couple. What had Jeff said? That he could call anytime? He took his phone out of his backpack and quickly found Jeff's name in his contacts.

"Hello?" Jeff answered groggily.

"Jeff? It's me, Lucas."

Lucas heard a shuffling sound and the click of a lamp being turned on.

"Lucas? What's wrong?"

"I'm alone on a bus headed to Chicago and I know these people have dope and I really want some and I don't think I can stop myself!" Lucas said without taking a pause.

Jeff was quiet for a minute. Then he said,

"I'll help take your mind off it. Tell me why you're alone on a bus right now."

"Jeff... there's things I didn't tell you, couldn't tell you at the ranch because I was a minor. Now that I'm eighteen, you can know everything."

Lucas explained about Brian and the abuse and how he'd threatened him. He detailed everything from that first slap at thirteen to the last beating in the backyard. Jeff listened silently.

"So that's why I had to leave. I didn't want him to plant drugs and convince my mom to send me back to rehab. Nora needs to graduate, so I couldn't tell her either. I'm on my own. It was now or never," Lucas said.

Jeff sighed deeply. "First, I'm really sorry those things happened to you, Lucas."

"You don't have to do that whole therapy lovey-hug shit with me. I'm not Gus. I don't care," Lucas said.

"You don't care that it happened or you don't care that I care?"

"Jeff, seriously, stop the bullshit questions. If you can't help me I'm hanging up."

Jeff chuckled. "Lucas, you are both the easiest kid to understand and the most difficult one to help. As always."

"Yeah, well..." Lucas didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell if Jeff was making fun of him or just trying to lighten things up.

Jeff continued. "I understand why you felt like you couldn't tell me, but it's a shame because I could have helped you process the abuse, which sounds like a huge part of why you became an addict."

"I just couldn't," Lucas mumbled.

"Now about that dope. It's not worth it. Think of how far you've come. You wanna throw that away? I can guarantee you'll regret it and it'll make you start using again because you'll feel like you blew it and there's no point. Is it worth it? Is one hit worth your life?"

Lucas stared at the window, seeing his own reflection.

"No," he whispered.

"So what can you do to take your mind off it?"