Damaged Hearts

Chapter 35

Nicole

"Nicole." Zach's voice is gentle. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

My chest tightens. Do I want to do this? Of course not. I don't feel some deep, aching desire to raise my dead ex-husband's child, the one he had with another woman while he spent years betraying me. It would be easier to shut the door, to walk away, to pretend this isn't happening.

But that's not who I am.

This is a life. An innocent baby who didn't ask for any of this. And my heart is too big to say no—to let him end up in the hands of the wrong person, or worse, tossed into a broken system where he'll never truly belong.

Zach stands beside me, silent, but I can feel the tension rolling off him. He's always steady, always strong, but now? He looks shaken.

"I'm a mother, Zach. I can't turn away a child this helpless. This young. I can't—"

"It's just a lot."

"I know it is." I shake my head, swallowing hard. "I'll leave it up to you. Do you think we should take him to the firehouse?"

"I just don't know why she wouldn't have left him there herself. Leaving him on a doorstep like this is illegal. She should know that."

"Maybe she has somewhat of a heart? To give him to people she somewhat knows?"

"No." He shakes his head, his jaw tight. "My guess is... she might come back."

"You think?" I frown. "She seemed pretty upset and closed off. She didn't even look at him."

"Yeah. I don't know." He rubs the back of his neck, exhaling heavily.

I sigh. "Let's just... manage tonight and figure this stuff out tomorrow?"

He nods. "Yeah." He picks up the car seat and carries it over to the counter.

I kneel beside it, gently brushing a tiny curl of dark hair from Justin's forehead. He stirs but doesn't wake.

When I glance up, Zach is staring at him, his jaw clenched.

"I'm supportive of this," he says finally, his voice rough with emotion. "But I'm also scared, Nic."

My heart squeezes. "Me too."

He lets out a breath, shaking his head. "I mean, we have a baby on the way. We've got Landon and Audra. And now..." He gestures toward Justin. "This changes everything."

"I know." I stand, reaching for his hand, and he takes it, lacing our fingers together. "But we're in this together, right?"

His eyes soften, but the worry doesn't leave his face. "Yeah," he says, squeezing my hand. "Together."

I glance back at Justin. He's a reminder of everything Brian did, a living, breathing consequence of his choices. But that isn't his fault.

And as much as it hurts, as much as I should turn away, I can't.

Because love isn't about what's easy. It's about what's right.

•••

"Mom, he only burped once. Is that enough?" Audra calls from the couch.

I step out of the bathroom and go to her. Justin is tucked up over her shoulder, dozing off. He's six weeks old now. We've had him for two weeks already, and it's been a whirlwind. But with Landon and Audra being as old as they are, it's been easier than you'd think. They're both so helpful and absolutely love him. Once Zach and I have this baby, they won't have to argue over Justin anymore.

Thankfully, he sleeps well in the bassinet beside me at night. Wakes up to eat, goes down fairly quickly. During the day, the kids are at school, Zach works, and starting next week, I'll only be working two days. My mom will watch Justin unless Zach is off that day, but that's rare.

As for us, we've never been closer. Watching Zach take care of this baby has been so rewarding. It took him a minute to get used to it, but now? He's a pro. So gentle and sweet. It's amazing to see his heart grow even bigger than it already was.

It makes me excited to have our baby here soon enough. By then, Justin will be about eight months old. I'm sure it'll be a lot to get used to, but with the village we have, we'll survive.

Zach steps through the front door, he exhales heavily. His shoulders tight with exhaustion, and I can tell it's been a long shift.

"Rough night?" I ask, my voice soft as I lean against the counter.

His eyes lift to mine, and even through his tiredness, there's that flicker of warmth when he sees me. "Yeah. But it's better now."

I smile, pushing off the counter and walking toward him. "Kids are asleep. Justin went down easy." I trail my fingers lightly over his chest, my nails just barely scraping against the fabric of his shirt. "Which means... it's just us."

His brow lifts slightly, the corner of his mouth tugging up. "Oh yeah?"

I nod, slipping my hands under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my fingertips. "Mhm. But first, you, honey, need a shower."

He lets out a short chuckle, his hands settling on my hips. "Are you saying I smell?"

"I'm saying you work hard, and you deserve to relax." I press a slow kiss to the side of his neck. "And I may have some ideas on how to help you with that."

His grip tightens slightly. "You trying to get in my pants, Mrs. Carson?"

I pull back just enough to meet his gaze, my lips curving in a knowing smile. "Is it working?"

His hands slide lower, fingers brushing over my butt.

"Loud and clear," he mutters before shaking his head. "Let me shower first."

I take a step back, "hurry up." I wink.

He leans in, brushing his lips against my ear. "Give me five minutes, and you better be naked in that bed when I get out," he murmurs.

I grin, letting go of him as he heads for the bathroom. I slip into our bedroom, pulling off my clothes, as directed.

By the time he steps out of the bathroom, towel slung low on his hips, I'm waiting on the bed.

His eyes drag over me, his breath slowing.

"Damn, Nic." His voice is rough, low.

I tilt my head, biting my lip. "Still tired?"

He drops the towel, his dick is hard already. He crosses the floor and comes down on top of me with ease and gentleness.

"I think you're going to be the tired one after I get done with you." He whispers in my ear and touches my body with urgency.