Freshman forthbeam (copied)

P'-N' Zone

Forth glanced at Park. Then he looked at the others. And then he shook his head. He then looked down.

"What should that mean?" Park furrowed his brow.

"I think he just sees me as his senior," Forth said, looking up. "You know, like how Ming and the other kids look at me or you."

The others blinked.

"What? No."

Forth shook his head. "It's easy for me to believe what you tell me. Because it's easy to build that illusion from his kindness. But no. I'm not that good. Even if he says I'm hot and handsome, he says a lot of 'ew' to gay or bisexual things. The point is, I can't be that good."

"But, Forth..."

"I've been good enough with him calling me P' and treating me nicely, letting me pinch his nose or mess up his hair, and I still have 8 lunches with him." Forth said. "I don't want to ruin that."

"But..."

"Today he treated me to Korean barbecue for our lunch. You know he likes Korean food, right?" Forth cut in.

"Don't be a coward, Forth," Park said.

Forth stared at Park with a glare in his eyes. He clicked his tongue. "There's a reason why you kept yourself from telling Lam about your feelings before, isn't it? Just like how Lam let everything slide too."

Max was about to say something but Forth raised his index finger.

"Don't make me start with you," He hissed at Max.

Max swallowed.

Tul blinked.

"Is there something you want to say, Tul?" Forth now glared at Tul.

Tul shook his head.

Park and Lam blinked. They forgot how intimidating Forth could be just because Beam was around for a while.

Forth stood up from the table where they had their afternoon snacks. "Beam has a cheerful mind. He doesn't think of a joke, but he thinks what he thinks. He's straight and he doesn't love me. He'll let people joke about us, but maybe he's starting to get tired because it makes him get fewer girls or annoyed with guys because people start to think he's in the game too, so he left Engineering."

"I don't think that..."

Forth nodded his index finger again so Lam closed his mouth again.

"I love Beam. And it will always be that way.

At the same time, I know I'm not worthy of his time and future. I won't be in his way. I don't want a short-lived happy relationship either. I want to be his P'Forth forever. Make sure he's happy and safe. So instead of making me do impulsive things, it's better to give me ideas on how to keep having meals with him after the remaining 8 lunches are over, or better yet, not do anything about it."

Everyone was stunned.

"Love is about giving, not possessing," Forth said calmly and then walked away, leaving his four stunned friends behind.