Disturbed Dawns //h.s

Midnight Memories

I packed my bags nervously. My stomach was somersaulting and I felt like throwing up. Meghan noticed how frantic I was and asked me what was wrong.

"Nothing... Nothing.." I said tossing a shirt into my bag. Meghan arched an eyebrow at me.

"It's not nothing, come on, what's up. Spill." She said, closing her laptop and putting it on her bed.

"It's nothing.." I repeated heading to my drawer and rummaging through it. Matching underwear. I needed matching underwear. I sorted through the various colors frustrated. I didn't know what color to pick now. God, I thought I had everything planned out. What was his favorite color? Blue? I think so... Grabbing a blue lacy bra and plain light blue underwear, I tossed both of them into my bag.

"Matching underwear." Meghan noted.

"Stop." I murmured before she could go further. Meghan stood and closed the door to our room. Harry was just I n the kitchen, he could hear if we got too loud. She walked over to me and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Are you two going to have sex?" She asked slowly. I didn't reply. "Terra. Answer me." She said sternly. My shoulders dropped and I sighed.

"Yes." I murmured. Meghan began squealing. "Shhhh." I said, shushing her. Meghan covered her mouth with her hands. I rolled my eyes as I continued packing.

"Oh my god! Terra!" She whisper shouted at me. "This is so exciting!"

"He doesn't know." I murmured. Meghan gasped.

"So he's not prepared. Do you have protection?" Embarrassed, I pulled four packets out of my backpacks front pocket. "Hey look at you. Wild girl aren't you." Meghan said, playfully hitting me.

"Shut up." I groaned. Meghan laughed.

"Well, I'm proud of you. And I'm glad! You rock his world. Or have him rock your world."

"Meghan! Shut up!" I cried out. She just laughed again

"Why were you and Meghan shouting at each other?" Harry asked as I exited the room. "You weren't fighting were you?" He questioned skeptically.

"Nope. We're fine." I said with a smile. Harry nodded and dropped his arm over my shoulders.

"Okay, come on then." I nodded and we said goodbye to Meghan, waving. She winked at me when Harry looked away. I rolled my eyes.

--

I wasn't sure how to go about this. Did I ask him after I took a shower? Before? Actually, it should probably be after. I need to shave.. Everything. Mainly my legs. Sighing I glanced over at him as he aimlessly flipped through TV channels.

"So what do you want for dinner?" He questioned looking over at me and smiling. I shrugged and grabbed the menu from the table even though I'd read it so many times at this point.

"Can we have Mac and cheese?" I asked. It was one of my favorites at this hotel. Harry smiled.

"I knew you were going to say that." Grabbed up the hotel phone he called the kitchen and placed our order.

"I'm going to take a shower." I tell him, grabbing my clothes from my bag. While I'm going to be sporting my pajamas before we.. You know.. I will still be wearing my color coordinated undies. As I took a shower, my stomach was churning and I sort of regretted ordering Mac and cheese. With my stomach so upset, I wasn't going to eat any of it. I groaned a little as I got out.

Exiting the bathroom, I was just in time to see Harry bring in the Mac and cheese. "Here you go love." Harry said kissing my cheek as he handed me the plate. I smiled and sat next to him on the bed. He had finally decided on some reality TV show and we watched it while eating. I barely touched my food though while Harry ate all of it. "Something wrong?" He questioned arching an eyebrow at me. I shrugged. Setting down his plate, Harry moved closer to me and wrapped an arm around my middle. "What is it? Come on." He said gently.

"It's nothing I'm just.. Nervous."

"Nervous about what?" Harry asked giving me a funny look. I reached out and set the palate down on the nightstand.

"Because I want to ask you something."

"Yes I'll marry you." I started laughing.

"No! Harry!" I hit his chest and he laughed. "We're too young for marriage." He shrugged but I had loosened up a bit. Brining together my courage I finally said, "I wanted to ask if you would have sex with me." Harry stopped smiling.

"What?" I didn't reply. "Terra you want me.. Us.. To.." He was at a loss for words.

"Yes Harry. I'm ready. I swear and I.. I love you so much. I want you to be my first." It came out as a whisper. I could hardly believe I was even saying it.

"Terra. You don't have to do this... We can wait."

"I want to Harry. Please. Unless.. You're not ready." I asked.

"No I am I just.. I don't want to scare you or hurt you and.."

"You won't I promise." We were silent. I was balling the covers of the bed up in my fist. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he not want to be with me? Harry leaned in and kissed my cheek. I moved my face so our lips touched. Our foreheads were pressed together.

"You can tell me to stop at anytime and I'll stop. Okay?" Harry whispered as I scooted farther up the bed. I nodded my head as Harry threw his leg over me. "No you need to tell me you understand. I need to hear it."

"Okay Harry." I whispered and to get him to shut up, I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled his face down to mine.

He was slow. Maybe a bit too slow but I knew he didn't want to rush me, didn't want me to freak out. I could remember all too clearly the time we had that picnic and I panicked when I felt his weight on top of me. But now, it was almost comforting to have him this close. I wasn't scared, I was excited.

It was me who instigated the taking off of clothes. Harry was nervous about that, I could tell. After I took off my shirt his hands delicately touched my hips, my stomach and back and he made some comment about blue being his favorite color. Score.

There was only one point during this where Harry stopped. I hadn't said anything he had felt me tense up a bit when he started to pull down my shorts. "I'll stop." He said, removing his hand.

"No." I replied a bit too forcefully. Harry laughed and I laughed too, nervously. He kissed me.

I was scared. I was so fucking scared. I had been worried that I would just picture Jeremy on top of me and I didn't want that. I wanted to be here, in the present with Harry. But everything leading up to and during that night, there was only one thought on my mind, Harry. Jeremy never crossed my mind, not even when Harry kept whispering Theresa over and over in my ear.