𝖳𝖾𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖱𝗂𝖼𝗁𝗆𝗈𝗇𝖽
Warnings: 18+, mental health issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD), suicide
But I'd need your hands in the cloudsTo fully surrender to me
As Nicole rested in my arms, everything felt different—more than I could explain.
All the years of bitterness seemed to fade, dissolving into something that suddenly felt insignificant.
I wasn't the type to get lost in emotions, but this? This was different. Nicole was different. It was as if she had become something I couldn't imagine my life without.
Having her close, feeling the warmth of her body against mine, I realized how much I had missed her, not in the way I expected, but in a deeper, more unexpected way than I ever imagined.
She was still unsure; I could feel it. And honestly, I wasn't completely sure either. But, for some reason, I was okay with that.
We didn't have a name for whatever was happening between us, and at that moment, I didn't need one.
What troubled me wasn't the unknown—it was the fear that Nicole didn't feel the same way. That she didn't see this as something real.
Maybe it was just me who had started to believe in us.
I couldn't fully explain why, but one thing had become clear—I could never bring myself to hate her again. There was nothing I wouldn't do to help her live the life she deserved.
I just needed her to be here. To want to be here.
I wished I could take away the dark thoughts that haunted her, the ones that made her suffer in silence.
But the harder I tried, the more she pulled away. I couldn't understand it.
This time, I was trying. Truly trying to get it right.
But her walls were still up, and it was like she couldn't see that I was here, right here for her.
In my past relationships, I had been at fault. Both of my marriages had unraveled, and now, looking back, I could finally see why.
Each time I came back from war, another piece of me had been left behind.
I was merely a shadow of the man I once was, an empty shell, weighed down by the things I had seen.
I couldn't see it then, not clearly. But now? It was painfully obvious.
The endless visits to the VA hospital. The relentless PTSD episodes. My life felt like wreckage barely holding together.
Who would ever choose to stay and deal with the chaos that had become my existence?
I was emotionally absent. Too closed off. Too guarded to be the partner they needed.
Maybe that's why everything fell apart.
As a Black man carrying invisible wounds, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had fought for a country that, in the end, didn't fight for me.
YOU ARE READING
Jukai
Fanfictionthere was a woman named Nicole who after losing everything she loved set out to take her own life deep in the woods. 𝖳𝖾𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖱𝗂𝖼𝗁𝗆𝗈𝗇𝖽 was on his way home from his father's farm, getting ready for the storm which was a Category 4 storm tha...
