°˖✧Gaijin✧˖°

°˖✧Rolling With the Punches✧˖°

Pathetic.

Weak.

Nothing.

There are a variety of things like that floating in her head as she stares up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. She really wanted to do more with the whole fight with Mogami, but it's like she was completely powerless to stop him or really do anything. She was practically useless the entire time.

She grabs one of her extra pillows and presses it against her face.

"Ari, Dimple - get out of here! I'll be fine!" Shigeo had called out to them. But she remained frozen. She didn't want to leave his side even though she knew that staying could have killed her. In the end, Dimple had to grab her by the back of her collar and haul her out of the mind world and back into her own body.

And he was. He was fine, and he was able to get rid of Mogami from the girl's body. The guy with the big lips that had helped her soul get through to him, whose name she learned was Matsuo, captured him in a spirit jar and walked off into the distance. He even proclaimed that he was going to name him "Pudding-chan," which she didn't question.

Minori was safe and sound, evidently. And she had watched with bated breath as the girl approached Shigeo, only to break down in tears when he asked her if the person he saw in the mind world really was her. Ari didn't really find out what that meant until they talked about it as they were on the train ride back home.

Shigeo really is better than her, though. If someone had relentlessly bullied her for six months straight and suddenly began to grovel and cry at her feet, begging for forgiveness, she would have told them to eat shit and die. His kindness really knows no bounds, and it's one of the things she loves about him, but she just can't do it under those kinds of circumstances. Not with what she's been through before.

"I have to get stronger," she murmurs to herself.

"Ari, what are you talking about? You're plenty strong already," Micah asks, opening his mouth widely for another big piece of tonkatsu to fit comfortably in it. "The control you've had in your tendrils has gotten a million times better since we started. You should give yourself more credit for that."

"Don't give me that crap, Micah-san!" She exclaims. "Shigeo could have really gotten hurt in there, and there was nothing I could have done to help him out! If something happened to him, then I... I..."

Micah looks up at her with wide eyes, especially when he sees that fat tears have begun to roll down her cheeks. He slowly sets his container of takeout down on his desk.

"You shouldn't be beating yourself up about this, Ari. I couldn't even do anything, and I've honed my abilities for years," he urges her, his voice soft. "It wasn't easy for me to take a backseat while a literal kid had to fight that spirit on his own, but I knew that he was stronger than all of us combined."

"You shouldn't worry so much about this," he adds. "You're a kid, too. You've got your entire life ahead of you, and you shouldn't spend it worrying about fighting things that can hurt you. You don't have to get stronger. You can just keep helping out with spirits that aren't as overpowered as Mogami from time to time. Isn't that so much better?"

No, it's not better. It's not better at all. She knows that she's young, but so is Shigeo. He's doing everything he can to protect the people he cares about, yet she can't do the same thing if push comes to shove. She bites down on her bottom lip, clenching her fists at her sides. She turns on her heel, running out of the office entirely.

"Ari!"

She can't run for very long on account of her shitty lungs, but she keeps moving until she finds herself at an empty playground, sitting in one of the swings while tears stream down her cheeks. Every time she wipes her eyes, the tears are replaced with even more. She just stops trying after a little while.