JAH SAYS

24: Facing the music 💜

Ever since that dream I had yesterday... In fact, right after I had woken up and had a chance to gather all of my thoughts, it started...

I pace up and down the living room just as I had previously done in my room, thinking it over. This time without the comfort of Jah's banned music soothing my ears. His music being banned by my parents who believe that my listening to it would bring back my depression from the time that I heard he had passed away... Ever since then, it was therefore banned in this house.

...the feeling of him calling out to me.

But little do they know... I need his music. No matter how 'sad' it sounds.

I spin, ready to walk down, this time. Both of my parents remain seated at the dining table, working on their laptops and occasionally lifting their heads and gazing at me and all of my evident anxiety.

"Nope. Nothing!" I whisper to myself, plopping down onto the carpeted floor directly in front of the enormous shelving unit that seems to fill the whole room up.

I stare at all of the books sitting extremely close to each other, making up the majority of items on each shelf. My eyes run them over once again as I read over all their spines.

Even if it truly is Jah calling me, like this profound feeling so confidently boasts... I mean... Was it always even there or does it just feel familiar? Is it...safe?

"Herah...?" I ignore Britni's voice, feeling that I am close to cracking the case.

Where did it come from?

I turn my back to her, knowing that she is rolling her eyes while I support myself, laying on her springy bed.

Why can't I stay in one place...in one room? Does it have something to do with that feeling...?

"I'm just going out for a quick run." I reassure my nosey mother who stands by the kitchen before closing the door behind me.

A run and nothing more.

I begin to jog, eventually leaving my family's property and ending up at the end of the road, spotting the last house.

The place where X and I had first...met.

Shaking away my thoughts only to gather them up again at a slower pace, I begin running back up the road and in the direction of my house. Only, I pass it by, not feeling anything, especially not the desire to return home.

Where are you going to?

-I do not know.

What if...

-Please! No more thinking!

I continue to jog, not feeling tired yet and not stopping anywhere. Passing the many houses by, I keep running, following in the direction that seems most familiar to me all while not really know where I am. I eventually come to a traffic light and stop as I wait for my chance to cross the road.

I'm still not fatigued.

I cross the road, running again.

It feels like I could go on forever, despite the heat which I don't even feel. I hear my slightly laboured breathing each time I stomp my foot down onto the ground. Looking around...