Babe.

42.

Blanca.

I was reeling, I couldn't go to witness protection, I couldn't trade one prison for another. Just the idea of it had my body bracing for the oncoming panic attack, I had to get out of here before they could make me go there. The Valley was bearable because I had my friends and Benny, but when I said I'd wanted to get out of here this is not what I'd meant. I didn't want to lose everything that I had here, witness protection might have been a new start but it was the same cell in a different form. I had to cut off contact with my oldest and closest friends, I had to erase any trace of the girl I'd become just to become whatever identity they handed me, I would have to watch my back everyday and lie through my teeth. I was done lying to make my life easier, I just wanted to have it normal.

The only soloution I couldd think of was running away, and not going around the block and coming back home kind of running away, running somewhere no one could find me kind of running away. In the short term it would probably be just like witness protection because it meant losing my friends too. But once things died down a little I could reach back out to them, so really it was the must better option. Still fucking heart wrenching but at least not permanently.

"Psst Ty!" I hissed waving him in as he walked past the door of my hospital room.

He frowned and ducked inside closing the door behind him, "what?"

"I need you to do me a couple favours," I told him, "and you have to swear on football that you won't tell anyone about this."

He nodded frowning, "okay, what do you need."

"I need you to bring me my clothes  without anyone noticing and then I need you to go check when the next cargo train leaves here."

"Your clothes are kind of burnt Blanca, are you sure you don't want other ones?" He asked.

I nodded, "I'm sure, we don't have time for you to go shopping and I plan on getting out of here quicklyy."

"So you're not going into witness protection then?"

I shook my head, "I can't. I would honestly rather kill myself."

"I figured you'd say that, so I already checked the trains, the next one leaves in twenty minutes so you need to go now." Ty replied winking.

I smiled at him gratefully, "you are a lifesaver."

"I know." Ty agreed, "now give me a second while I go get your clothes."

Who would have thought that a twelve year old boy would be so perceptive, as sad as it sounded he had honestly become one of my closest friends. Ty was like the little brother I never had and didn't know how badly I needed.

He came back in about five minutes later and dumped them on the bed, "are you going to say goodbye to them?" Ty asked jerking his head towards my friends at the door.

I sighed and shook my head, "no, I can't risk getting seen, the hallway is crawling with cops and if I want to get out of here they can't suspect anything. The doctors said they'd discharge me as soon as I wake up from the sleep I'm pretending to have."

"Not even Benny?" Ty promoted making a pang of pain shoot through my heart.

I shook my head blinking back tears, "I can't."

He turned around as I pulled on my clothes and said, "Blanca if you're pulling this through you'll be gone for ages-."

"I know," I cut him off tears stinging my eyes, "but if I have to say goodbye I'm not sure I'll be able to leave in time." I added swallowing back the lump in my throat, "besides if everything goes well they can all catch up eventually."