Babe.

31.

Blanca.

Benny knew. I knew he knew because he was walking on eggshells around me like everyone had done after it happened. The question was which one of my dick brothers had snitched.

We were walking down along the beach and I just couldn't keep my frustration in anymore.
"So which one told you?" I stopped walking and crossed my arms across my chest, "was it Alfie or Emmanuel?"
He pretended not to know what I was talking about, "what?"
I rolled my eyes at him, "I'm not stupid. I know you know, the least you could do is admit it."

Benny nodded and stopped walking too, "Emmanuel."
"Of course he fucking did." I muttered shaking my head. My older brother had been getting awfully cosy around Benny recently and he'd probably told him a little about it after what had happened at lunch the other day so he wouldn't be too confused.
"How much of it did E tell you about?" I asked angrily. I loved Emmanuel and I knew he wouldn't tell any stranger about it and that he'd only told Benny because we'd gotten so close but it was still annoying.

"Only that something happened to you, nothing else." Benny hurried to tell me.
"Good." I snapped defensively, "because it is absolutely none of your business."
"I know." He agreed. "It really isn't. But if you ever want to talk about it we can."
I glared at him, "well I don't."

But that wasn't entirely true because somehow I had the feeling that confiding in him would make me feel better. "I don't know what Emmanuel said to you but it wasn't that bad." I found myself saying, "I didn't get raped or anything like that."
Benny frowned, "that doesn't make it any less horrible."
No, I thought bitterly, it didn't.

"I just as per usual let him force me to go out with him and then when the dinner was over he said he wanted to show me some kind of spot or whatever to watch the sunset. I didn't want to go but you knew me back then, I literally couldn't say no to anyone but you and my closest circle. So I agreed to it." I started surprising myself because I hated telling this story.

Benny watched me listening carefully as I continued, "anyways it turned out he didn't want to do much watching. He kissed me and at first I was too scared to push him away but then I just couldn't anymore and I told him to stop but he didn't listen to me. I told him again but that just seemed to piss him off because he started yelling things at me like how I was a tease, how I owed him this how I needed to get over myself and that I wasn't allowed to leave until I'd had enough."

I clenched my fists jamming my nails into my palm as I kept talking. "But I couldn't do that, I didn't want to stay there with him so I freaked out and junk punched him before getting out of the car and running half a mile down the road to the bed and breakfast I'd seen on the way there. I ran through the forest in case he tried to follow me with the car. When I got there I called Alfie, he came to get me immediately and the next day after school he showed up at the school of the guy and kicked the shit out of him."

"Jesus Blanca." Benny said shaking his head, "I'm so sorry."
I scowled, "I don't want your pity. I didn't even want you to know in the first place because I knew you'd start acting like I was a fragile little china doll. I want you to treat me like before you knew."
"Then I will, but I need you to tell me the name of the guy who did that to you." He said flexing his hand.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "why?"
Benny muttered something that sounded a lot like because I'm going to kill him under his breath before saying, "just because."
"Winston Beaufort." I told him shifting uncomfortably. "His name describes him perfectly."
"So he's a polo shirt wearing, country club going, thinks he's better than everyone else asshole?" Benny asked.
I couldn't help smile a little because he was spot on, "exactly."

I stated walking again and he followed falling in step beside me, "please don't tell anyone." I knew he wouldn't but I just had to say it to make sure.
I could feel his hand slip into mine as he said, "I would never."
"I know. I just needed to hear it." I told him feeling way too exposed and vulnerable for comfort.
He squeezed my hand, "well it's safe with me, and so are you because I won't ever do that to you."
I squeezed his back, "I know that too. I trust you."

Benny.

I'd done it. I'd finally gotten her to trust me.

Blanca.

I did trust him now, he'd proven he was worth it. Whatever I'd told him on the roof must have resonated with him because he'd really pulled himself together and showed me he was worth it. And I was so glad that he had because I hadn't realised what I was missing until he'd showed me.

Even better he was fixing me, because he didn't let me get away with all my bullshit and even if I didn't like it it helped. Because I was starting to realise that maybe it didn't matter what other people thought. Maybe my opinion was all that mattered.

There was still a long way to go till that point but the fact that I was even thinking about it was huge progress for me and it was all thanks to him. The one person who had never fallen for my tricks, and while it had pissed me off to no extent at the time I was now beyond grateful that he hadn't. And that that he'd taken the time to help me.

I'd lucked out.