pointless

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when my horrible flashback stopped i stared at the t.v not watching it just replaying,pausing,and rewinding my flashback as if it was my favorite movie that i knew every word to right infront of me.ive been so trapped in my thoughts that tears that i didnt know was evan there was trickling down my cheeks like a sink faucet,but i didnt notice until i tasted the familiar salty substance on my lip creeping its way in my mouth.tbh the crazy part of this whole situation is that.....idk why im crying.

yes ik its a terrible thing to go thru but no.....i should be used to it.

1/2 second old i was born in this cruel anti black world,raised by biracial parents and have 2 racist ass white grandparents.4 years old getting bullied for being me,and who knows what happend to me at the ages i couldnt remember. at 5 a brother with autism was born on this heartless ass earth.when he was born i remember we was in the car and my grandfather told me to put him in the middle and dont put his seat belt on so if we get into a car accident he will be the first to die. age 10 parents dead nobody what's us so now i have to take care of little brother which makes me a single mother before i evan have sex or learn to multiply.later that year craig is dead and bam! im in a abusive foster home that some bullshit police officer just sent me to turning me into some bitches slave,call me the "house nigga" thats exactly were i stayed....IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.later that year still 10 and master gave me away to the august plantation,and now im ciera slave but not just any slave im her sex slave.15 years old the only person that really knew shit about me smacked me while master cierra beat me causing me to leave,and the fucked up thing is all this shit is happening right under the government's nose which everyone should know now that America is full of shit.still 15 years old on a plain to L.A,get there meet someone.come to find out the person i called my diary that was in that bullshit foster home with me live in the house i was planning on staying but she smaked me and later on that day get kiddnapped and one thing led to another and now im 15 year old mother thats having her baby when shes 16 thats battling D.I.D..now before people try to "understand " what ive been thru they will need to go thru it first otherwise them tryna "help" will be as pointless as tryna judge a book by the color of its author,so basicly this is a white mans world and what are people like me gonna do here.so why not end it all,but at the same time i shoud be used to it.im as confusing as a 2 sided arrow.

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