His Dangerous Obsession

Chapter 20

There was a time when the thought of tomorrow felt heavier than the night. When I couldn’t imagine myself past the next sunrise, and dreams were just pretty lies the world fed people like me to keep us from falling too fast. I didn’t believe I was meant for anything big... How could I, when even breathing sometimes felt like an accomplishment?

But here I am now, standing in the very place I once believed was impossible to reach.

It wasn’t easy. There were nights I broke down for no reason, mornings I woke up wondering why I even bothered. I hurt. I lost. I pulled away from people who tried to love me, thinking I didn’t deserve them. And despite everything, I kept walking. Pausing, crying, yelling at the universe. But I never stopped for good.

And I wasn’t alone.

There were people who didn’t give up on me, even when I had. Manang Perla, Mom and of course Seven, who stayed, even when I pushed. They reminded me that healing isn’t always pushing someone away, that strength isn’t loud, and that it’s okay to rest. Their faith in me became my lifeline.

But the best thing is, it was the day I chose myself. Not out of selfishness but survival. I stopped trying to save others while drowning myself. I gave myself permission to say no. To rest. To dream, even when it scared me.

I put myself first and that changed everything. It’s about giving yourself a chance, again and again, until something clicks. It’s about loving the broken pieces enough to build something whole.

Nabalik ang pansin ko ng marinig na namang umiiyak si Mommy.

‎"Goodness! Why was I so cruel to this baby before… Look at her now, glowing with her passion," sabi ni Mommy habang halos maluha sa sobrang saya. Napangiti ako habang pinagmamasdan siyang yakapin ni Manang Perla, na para bang ako’y isang tropeong ipinagmamalaki nila. Napailing ako bago isinubo ang kanin.
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‎"Mom naman… My book is not that famous yet," sabi ko habang nakanguso. Hindi pa nga masyado, but some people truly love it and that love made me even more determined to keep going. I poured my soul into every page, and now, I’m living my dream. I’m a writer, of my own book, of my own story.
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‎"So... bakit niyo po ni-reject si Doc?" pag iiba ko ng usapan, sabay ngisi. Napasinghap si Mommy, at namula ang kanyang pisngi habang umiwas ng tingin. Kwento kasi ni Manang Perla, iyong doktor ni Mommy ay gustong manligaw sa kanya pero agad niya itong ni reject. Ias shock, knowing na may gusto rin naman siya sa doktor na 'yon.
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‎"I realized I’m still not ready for that," mahina niyang sabi. Nagkatinginan kami ni Manang Perla, parehong hindi kumbinsido.
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‎"I told you, I want to focus my attention on you—"
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‎"Mom..." buntong hininga ko, sabay tayo at yakap sa kanilang dalawa. "Pwede mo naman po akong pagtuunan ng pansin habang inaalala mo rin ang sarili mo. If you really like him… then why not give him a chance? Hindi naman ibig sabihin na papasok agad kayo sa relasyon. Let him show you who he is. Let yourself be happy."
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‎Lalo lamang siyang umiyak sa sinabi ko, alam kong may tinamaan. Oh gosh… My mom has been really emotional lately. At buti pa siya, may manliligaw. Ako? Napairap ako sa alaala ng isang lalaking hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin tuluyang nawawala sa isip ko.
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‎How many years has it been again? Three years? Three long years since we separated.
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‎The first week without him? It was hell. Halos bawat oras ay sinusubukan kong tawagan si Migz, since sumama siya sa kanila. Buti na lang at willing si Seven na kausapin ako. I almost laughed when I remembered something, isang linggo na kaming hindi nagkikita noon, and then I saw him outside my condo like nothing happened. Para bang hindi niya ako iniwanan ng letter na nagpaiyak sa akin. He stayed for two days, and those two days… Imposible namang nag nag-jack-en-poy lang kami niyan. We made love.
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