Beg ✟ h.s. au (M)

t h i r t y - t h r e e

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."

Boston x Augustana

Harry's pov

Loud gasps for air left my lips as I was hunched over, my hands upon my knees. The racing of my heart, and burning of my lungs more evident with each breath. One would never expect such physical exhaustion from baseball, but the amount of stamina and dedication was necessary. Especially at the competitive level we faced, and lets not even get started on championships.

The empty baseball field was exactly what I need to remain focused. Away from all distractions as my head needed to be 100% involved in this sport.

And yet, most times it seemed to be the furthest thing from my mind.

Having fallen in love with a girl the exact opposite of myself has taken such a turn on my life. All for the better I assume, but in all honesty.. I can't tell.

I'm different. I'm not the same innocent person I was raised to be. In most eyes I was a completely normal 17-year-old boy, doing normal teenage boy things. But being raised to see these things as wrong, and then fully immersing myself into it so suddenly.. I don't know.

I don't dare ignore the fact that I do love Stella. She is the polar opposite of myself, but that almost makes us work.

Us.

That's something that confuses me all too much as well. I know where my emotions stand with Stella, but where her's lie with me? I'm drawing a very vague blank.

There are times where she's open with me. Where she does the things that signify a couple. She often takes my hand in hers when were together, holding my body close to her's as we cuddle. Cuddle for christ's sake. That's not something a girl who just wants a fuck-buddy would do.

I know I'm something to her, just finding out what that something is has proven to be difficult.

I grunt as I toss the ball in the air, watching it come down in my preferred strike zone. Using all my upper strength to hit it out into the empty field. The physical exertion helping clear my head as I used it to take out each stress filling my brain.

My head was everywhere right now and I begged that it would stay in one place.

Between school. Another hit to the outfield.

Church. Down third base line.

My parents and baseball. Pop-fly by shortstop.

And the main occupant of my clouded mind: Stella. And it's out of here.

I let out another huff as I toss the bat to the dirt ground. I pick up the backward baseball cap off my head as I run a hand through my sweat dampened curls. I placed the hat back on my head,  throwing my hands down to my side, lifting my head to the sky and letting out a frustrated yell.

"Well ahh to you too." Her voice taunted from the dugout. Her body leaned against the metal post as she smiled over at me.

She made her way over to me, bending over and picking up a red-stitched ball on the way. She tossed it up in the air before catching it. Playing with the ball in her hands.

"So is this where you've been all day? I've tried calling you, but you didn't answer." She spoke looking down at the baseball in her hands. Her voice lower, saddened almost. "I kinda thought you were avoiding me."