Beg ✟ h.s. au (M)

o n e

"You stare at me in an in-between state of "should we really be doing this?" and "this isn't right it's ungodly". Contemplating being in control of something in your life for once. And that's when you stop thinking and let your body wants, what it's been begging for."

Today marks the second week since I've laid eyes on church boy. His sudden transfer to this shithole of a town made him immediately more visible. I often see him around the school, mainly in the hallways conversing with his 'friends'. You can tell he wants nothing more than to get away from them, away from here. He has so much potential to be something great, but until he finds his voice and does something about it this is all he'll ever become. Always known as a high school washout that always could have been.

I see him more than just at school though. It just so happens that he moved in a couple of streets down, which is at my complete advantage. I often catch myself gazing out my window early in the morning to catch him on his morning run. Watching his shirtless, toned body flex and glisten from the physical activity he's participating. It only sends my mind reeling to the way his body would react in a different type of physical activity.

I swear he's oblivious to just how much of a sex god he really is. It goes right back to the whole innocence thing. Innocence I get, but I swear he has to just be plain stupid to not see it. To not see the way all the girls practically drool over him–hell I even fantasize about him.

I don't think he notices because of his preoccupations. Those being, baseball, baseball, and fucking baseball. This kid eats, sleeps, and breathes the fucking sport. Not that he has much of a choice as it is. You can tell it's his parents and their influence that makes him what he is now. They want a prodigy child, something they can brag to all the other pathetic parents that have nothing better to do with their times than to have a 'my child is better than your child' spit fest. They only care about status. Whatever he has to do to make sure they are envied by everyone, then so be it. Who gives a shit about what the kid wants right? As long as you get something out of it.

It makes me sick. Yeah, I guess having a family that actually gives a shit about you would be nice, but using them for their own selfish gain is beyond low. I'd gladly take my non-existent family over that any day.

It only makes church boy more desirable at that point, in all honesty. He's frustrated constantly, always being put up to the expectation of being the best. Anything less than number one is frowned upon.

Church boy could have it all. Fame, money, girls, anything he could possibly desire, yet he goes and lives his life for those around him. He doesn't decide for himself. He doesn't direct his own life, and I think that's what I see most compelling of him.

The very fact that he wants so much more than this. He wants to decide what his life is to become, and he wants to be the one to choose what he's to do. Sometimes, I feel as though the whole "God" thing he grasps on to so avidly is almost a false hope for him. A way for him to believe that maybe what he's doing–the life he's being forced into–is all part of this holy spirit's plan.

It's the only sense of control he's ever going to have in his own life, so he believes. His lack of control only means one thing; he's craving it. He craves the thought of being in control, of being the one calling the shots.

Being the one in control for once.

You'd think he'd realize that it's just that easy to get what he wants. It's that easy to have all the control, all the power he wants with just a snap of his fingers.

Let this day be marked.

March 12, 10:34 am.

I, Stella Masters, make a goal. Not only for myself but for this beautiful, beautiful person who deserves to see what he can be and all the power he can hold. To show him that he can be in control of so many things, but this will definitely be the easiest.

I will turn one Saint Harold Styles, into the sex-crazed animal I know he is.

Let the games begin.

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yes its short, but i think ill keep them all short that way i dont feel pressured to write a whole bunch lmao. that doesnt mean they wont be good chapters tho ;)

more votes= more updates soooo get voting :)

love yall xoxo
j

[edited 12.8.16]