Beg ✟ h.s. au (M)

f o u r t y

  "I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight for you. You need to remember that."

Over My Head (Cable Car) x The Fray

The warm mid-spring, arising summer sun beamed down. The aroma of sweat and other game day necessities ran freely in the little breeze there was. I felt my skin dampen in the sun, but decided to discard the feeling as my mind was nowhere near paying attention to the minuscule components of my surroundings.

The metal bleachers were filled, so many people pulled out to see the known championship game. The only way I really was able to get in was by sneaking through the back, otherwise I would have been in line for hours trying to purchase a ticket.

I could hear the aluminum ring of the bats hitting balls for warm-ups, both teams sharing the field before they went to start. And as I looked down at the time, I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before they would begin playing, and thus made me want to quicken my actions.

But as I made my way over to the mass amount of people, I saw him. And though it sounds so cliché he looked different from when I saw him last. Not necessarily in the physical sense, but his spirit, his drive.. they seemed to be missing. Although he was focused on this game, and he put all he had into it, I could tell he wasn't all here.

And I hate to be the reason for that.

His body moved so athletically, the ball coming from his hand with such force I could only see it as being a form of releasing anger. I'm sure this is all he's been doing for the week since I've seen him.

I want to run over to him now. I want so many things from him that I know I don't deserve. Suddenly I find my feet having wandered toward the dugout, hidden to the side as I observed closer. My body having a mind of it's own. I watched as each boy piled into the secure area, being told to do so by their coach. Harry picking up his glove and a few balls bringing them along with him.

He was so close, so close that I could just reach out to him, but I wouldn't. Not now at least.

But it seemed fate was inevitable --but more likely was it my impulsive action to be so close to him-- as his gaze seemed to linger upon his surroundings, and ultimately meeting mine. I swore in that moment everything faded, and my heart dropped. I know he felt the same as he seemed to freeze in his spot, his nervous gulp visibly swallowed.

I just stared, my mouth agape as it wished to say something, scream something, but not finding the courage to do so.

For what felt like an eternity of unspoken language, he broke out of the trance he seemed to be instilled within. His face turning to one of shock, to hurt as he adverted his eyes to the ground beneath him and shook his head. Wishing to rid whatever thoughts that racked throughout his pained mind.

My arm reaches out in front of me, although I don't move out of my place. I just need to tell him everything, but he continues to move forward towards the dugout, and keeps his eyes focused on the ground.

I swallow the guilt, and pain down my throat as he leaves my view completely. The tears prick my eyes slightly, but I blink them away. I know that if I start now I won't be able to stop.

"Hello ladies, and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2015 Spring Championship game. We have the two best teams in the state competing for the ultimate title. Let's introduce our teams, starting with the Ridgemont Tigers..", the announcers voice pulled my attention towards the box above the bleachers where they kept score and announced the game. He continued to go on and call through the entire team before he got to Harry's team. I stood over at the bleachers now, observing the field as each player was presented and lined up on the baseline along with the rest of their team.