Beg ✟ h.s. au (M)

t h i r t y - s i x

"My mistakes will be the end of me, but I'll be damned if I let them."

Mr. Brightside x The Killers (sounds hella rad for the intense parts)

Stella's pov

My brain was racked with so many thoughts. So many emotions throughout me, and all of them scared me shitless. The more I think about where I put myself, where things could have been avoided, where it all went wrong -- I realize the only thing being in common with it all is me.

I slowly began to piece together that I am the one to blame for anything, and everything.

I shouldn't feel as paranoid as I do though. I shouldn't have this constant fear of my mistakes hanging over my head, but I can't help but feel anxious. I assume it's just my conscience getting the best of me, but something doesn't settle right with me.

I know what I did was stupid, reckless, and honestly probably the thing that would jeopardize my relationship the most – but what other choice did I have? I couldn't just tell him, I don't think I could see him go through that.

I don't think I could go through losing him.

I hear conversations carry back and forth throughout the hall, my head aching from the constant noise. If only school would be done with. It's almost as if the last few months seem to drag on even longer than the rest of the year leaving us all exhausted by the end of it. But even then where would I go after that. Where would we go?

I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. I wanted to let it all out. I wanted nothing more than to regain this sense of self that I hadn't realized I held until Harry.

My eyes closed as I placed my head back against the wall. Biting down on the bed of my nail, I stood so fucking confused. I was everywhere at once and I hated it.

"Biting your nails is a bad habit Stellz," I hear someone come up beside me. The voice made my headache only amplify, and jaw clench. 

I take in a deep breath, my eyes remaining closed as I voice out a reply when I would want nothing more than to just ignore him. "So is being an asshole, but that doesn't stop you now does it?"

His laugh rang through my ears as I could feel his presence come closer. The urge to throw up rising along with our proximity. "Always the feisty one babe, you really should watch your pretty little mouth though," his voice now right next to my ear. My eyes shooting open wanting nothing more than to rid him from my life. "It might just get you in trouble one day."

I removed myself from the proximity of him, wishing he would keep to himself like he promised. "Why the fuck are you still bothering me Brett?" I snapped, my small arms pushing him back as much as I could muster. "We had an agreement, and you promised that you'd leave the fuck alone. Now you really should stick to your word and get the hell away from me." My eyes filled with rage, and pure hate.

I never thought it'd be possible to hate one this much.

His hand reaching out to grasp my wrist, the pressure harsh causing me to suck in a breath at the pain. I was a tough girl though, I could hold my own, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let him get the benefit of hurting me.

At least, not physically.

"Now you see babygirl," he cooed with a menacing voice. "That's what I wanted to talk about." His hand releasing my wrist, my other hand discretely rubbing it to soothe the tender skin. "I'm afraid you didn't deliver well enough the last time. Such a shame really, you used to be so amazing. You've lost your spunk Stellz."