Wangxian - The Road Not Taken

36. Found and Lost

Lan Wangji POV:

The day I saw you again was the happiest day of my life.

The piece of music you played was the sweetest sound I ever heard.

Until that day I was just numbly going through the motions, not truly living. Having no hope, no light in life. What kept me going was the nightly sessions of Inquiry, hoping against hope that no news means good news. And our child. He has become my moon, filled with your shine, your essence.

These years, each day I would plan out all the possible scenarios of when we would meet again. I would hold your hand and bring you back to Gusu, tell you that our son has grown up well. I would let you do you anything you want. Would bring you your favourite wine, your favourite chilli oil so that you don't have to suffer bland food.

I would cook for you and hence I learned to cook all the flavourful dishes I have ever seen you eating. So that you don't feel the cold as I had seen you shiver quite a lot when I had last met you, I have brought the extra soft blankets for you.

When we would go to the cold pond, I will always accompany you, will always stay close to keep you warm.

Will give you my money to spend as you wish. So that you are not lacking in anything.

Those days when it got too much, A-yuan and I often visit the rabbit family raised from the gifts you gave me. We often see a part of you in them which always brings us a few precious moments of happiness.

When I was in forced seclusion, I hated that I could not go to find you immediately after the siege, I hated the rules, the hypocrisy, the people obstructing, the people hurting you.

I just missed you. Wishing each day, each second for you to come back.

I am still waiting for you.

Waiting to be with you.

Waiting to fulfil each of your wishes.

Waiting to give you the love you deserve, the love I so desperately want to express.

Please Come back.

Please Wei Ying, come back to me.

I am so thankful that my wish was granted and you came back. Though I feel bad for the person who had to sacrifice himself I cannot bring myself to mind anything that you had to do to come back to me.

When I saw Jiang Wanyin targeting you time and time again, I rush to protect you. Don't worry Wei Ying, I will be a rock at your side protecting you. I will not let anything hurt you again.

I will take any pain before it reaches you. I can endure anything for you. Be it -

Whips

Sear

Pain

Grief

Loneliness

Scorn of people

Breaking rules

Deviation from the only path I have known

Long wait with no end in sight with nothing but your memories

Leaving sect

Leaving family

Leaving cultivation world