COTE one shots

Creation

I didn't want my dick grabbed so I had to come back from the dead.

Love you all mwah 

sorry if the writings shit it's been too long

**

"Hi Kiyotaka!"

"Hello Honami."

The walk towards the school compound was as slow and sluggish as it had always been. The chill of the winter morning gnawed at my features, but my mind was burnings with an ache I couldn't contain. My thoughts stretched back, back towards the beginning. Beginning? Is there even a beginning?

Why did it begin?

Why did it start. Why did something come from nothing? Why did nothing form something? Why is nothing, nothing? 

Dependency. There was dependency in the universe. Everything was dependent on the other. But I gave it some thought. Could that seriously work? My birth was dependent on my parents, and their parents to their parents. The chain goes on.

And can my mother give birth to herself? No, obviously not. So there had to be something independent, something eternal. Something that gave birth to...everything else.

Some people call that God.

And it's fair to believe in it. This chain of dependency can't go on forever. That's like having no starting block. Just dominoes falling with no first push. Motion without origin, I'd like to say.

But...There is motion.

Everything is in motion.

Where did the motion come from?

Well some of the greatest minds humanity has produced have tried answering these questions. Aristotle. Good bearded, smart-minded, woman hating Aristotle. Although his views on things like slavery do spark debate, it's without a doubt that he is indeed one of the finest minds to grace the planet.

He referred to the motion as the Unmoved Mover. A flick, the first one. The stillness that began movement. And Lebiniz, one of my favourites. He wanted reason. The principle of sufficient reason. Things exist because something explains them. Not endlessly, but finally.

I hear a greeting pass by me as one of my peers rushes towards lesson. Although I am still trudging, my mind has taken a path of it's very own. 

Okay, here. 

What if God does exist? What if there is a first cause, an unmoved mover. Then something else strikes my already fried mind.

Why send a religion? Why reach down? Why care? We can't prove God exists, but we can't disprove it either.

Why send it down to us? How can we prove that we aren't being simulated as we speak? How can I be sure that there aren't multiple universes, and many different beings in many different planets? I can't, and that's what bugs me the most.

Why care to send a religion down to us? Why? Why are we here? If God is all knowing, then why test us? Why give us this test if my results are predetermined. That's like doing a test knowing you're going to fail.

But that's where I'm wrong.

You don't know your going to fail.

Your teacher knows, but you don't.

So although it's predetermined for you, you don't know. And that's the beauty of life, we don't know. Pascal said it's better to wager, wager that God cares. That he sent something. Is betting on it enough? When we have no proof, is it really enough?

Another corner. Another step. The school gate close, yet seemingly far. Then my mind shifts to Walter Russell. Strange man, some say. However, Russell saw rhythm in the universe. A heartbeat. A wave. He believed God was a pulsing source. Not passive. Not cold. But expressive.

As expressive as a poem? Perhaps even more.

God whispers through his prophets, through texts and through stories. Whispering because love doesn't scream.

All these philosophers hold pieces of a shattered mirror. And me? Just an average school-boy trying to find the shape in the shards.

I creak open my classroom door.

Perhaps...Perhaps I shouldn't think about this. The human mind is too limited to dwell on things which can't be answered. We've tried for thousands of years, no point trying longer for a fruitless cause. 

It's better to live life. It's the only one we have on this Earth. Whether there is a God or not is a 50/50 coin toss. 

And not a risk I'm willing to take.

"Hey Ayanokouji what's up?"

"Not much Sudo," I curved my lips upwards slightly "I just found a little bit of purpose."