The Gray Zone

CHAPTER 3

/Alexis' POV/

On Saturday I woke up with a strong headache and couldn't think of any reason for it. When I got up I realized that I still wore the clothes from yesterday. My mouth was dry and I knew there was something about the last evening, I tried to focus on reminding myself, but my head hurt so much, I needed a hot shower first. 

 Luckily there was no one in the bathroom and nobody disturbed on my way to get there. I got out of my dirty clothes which smelled like weed and something other I firstly didn't recognize. And then I saw it - three words written with a black marker over my left arm bed. 

  You Are Mine. And then on the inside of my hand two big letters. JR. JR, like ... like it hit me like a punch in my gut. JR like Jesse Rutherford. I read it again and again and again but the words were still there, You Are Mine. Suddenly then the memory came back – yesterday, many people were there, Jesse wanted to smoke something with me... and the next thing I could remember was me. Making out with him. Touching his neck and Jesse pushing me down on the floor, the kitchen floor. In our house. Yesterday. No, no, no this couldn't be true.

I put on a bathrobe and stormed out of the bath. Levi was in his room, playing with his mobile. He could tell me for sure more about it.

"What err... what happened yesterday?" He looked up from his phone 

"What?" 

"Yes, what happened yesterday evening? I can't remember much" I repeated myself and he realized that something bothered me. 

"Oh well Alexis. Okay, so I got a few people over but other ones just kept coming and I thought it'd be nice since mom had to work for so long. I think you got up to your room at first and then suddenly Jesse Rutherford walked with you in his arms downstairs. I got a little scared but he told me he'd take care of you, so I just let it be...ahm then nobody saw you two for a while, but I think I was the only one who noticed it. After two hours I was worried about you, but Mickey and Jesse already left and nobody I asked knew where you were. I was quite glad that I found you in your bed, sleeping and obviously not harmed. That was it I guess."

It was real. It has happened. I didn't know what to think, Jesse kissed me but I was unconscious and fuck it was so confusing.

"Tha ... Thank you Levi" I stumbled and quickly walked out of the room again.

It happened and I didn't know how to feel about it. There definitely was memory of me making out with Jesse, memories that felt good and pure. I looked at my left arm again. You Are Mine – JR. It wasn't gone and probably wouldn't until Monday or so, no matter how much I'd wash it. Oh god, I had to see Jesse again on Monday. He could remember everything about it. And of course he would know why I'd wear sweaters with long sleeves the whole week.

After I showered and dressed up I also remembered that I had an appointment with Madison in less than an hour. Fuck, I had absolutely zero motivation to go shopping, but I couldn't cancel it now because then I had to listen to my mom's questions why I didn't went there the whole day. I grabbed my bag and put my shoes on and began to walk to Madison's house. She was living near the mall and on the way she talked about Zach, who she had a crush on and how sweet he was.