The Gray Zone

CHAPTER 27

/Jesse's POV/

After a while of talking and telling stories Mikey and Lauren said goodbye to all of us and climbed downstairs. Now I realized that it was just before ten PM, so I guessed that my girl had to leave soon too. This sucked because I really enjoyed hearing her voice and feeling her leaning against me and in general just wasting time. And also I gave her my jacket an hour ago or so and she just looked too adorable in it. Bryan got a packet of cigarettes out of his jeans and offered me one which I accepted of course.

Jeremy had just finished the story of our first gig, which was a complete disaster and earned the usual laughs from everybody. 

"Okay, I think I've got to go now." Madison said and drank the rest of beer. "Are you coming with me?" she asked Alexis who shook her head. 

"I'll stay for a bit. See you tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow." The other girl repeated and said goodbye to everybody and just as she was going to the stairs Zach jumped up and suggested to bring her to her car. 

"Oh shit, everybody come with me!" I bursted out and got up as soon as they were downstairs. Quickly we all moved to the edge of the roof and laid down so that we could just peak over it. 

"Do you think they'll-" Bryan asked and was interrupted my girlfriend. "Definitely." 

Just then Zach and Madison walked over the parking slots to the girl's Ford. They stood there for a second and seemed to talk. Next to me I could hear Alex mumble "Come on, come on, come on..." The next thing was Zach leaning in to kissing the girl and pressed her against the car. "Ohhh shit" I giggled and we all watched it for another couple of seconds, before turning away. 

"Now it's getting gross." Jeremy joked as he got up to get another beer.

I looked at Alexis, who was still watching and when she noticed me I raised my eyebrows. "What? I'm just happy for her." She laughed and sat up again. 

We both faced the seemingly endless roof in front of us and leaned against the little wall on the edge of it. Her hand went my arm up and down and I cleared my throat.

"Alex?" 

"Mmh?" She answered and was still looking forward. 

"Why isn't your dad around anymore?"

She sighed and stopped with her hand for a moment before answering my question. "I don't know, my mom left him when I was four. Or maybe he left her. I barely have any memories of him." 

"Do you still have contact to him?" I questioned further. Another sigh. 

"Not really. But I don't know if I want to meet him again. Where's your Dad?" 

I knew this question was coming but I couldn't help to have all these flashbacks again. The ones I went through so many times. 

"He's dead." I said under my breath and again Alex stopped her hand and turned to me with a sorrowful expression. 

"I am so sorry to hear that, Jesse." She whispered and I pulled her into a close hug. She didn't ask any other questions, she was just there and hugged me. God, it felt so refreshing to trust a new person this much. 

"He... he passed away two years ago and sometimes I think I'm such a fuck up cause he isn't around to show me better" I said and heard my voice crack. I was close to crying. Maybe I drank a bit too much but then again, Alexis didn't let me go and tried to calm me down. 

"You're not a fuck up, Babe. You're so kind and nice and sweet he'd be proud of you." The smoothness of her voice let me breath again. 

"Oh god, I love you so much." I pressed my head into her shoulder and felt a tear rolling down my cheek. Everything got dizzy. When was the last time I had eaten something? Anything? And then I my eyes fell shut and everything was dark.