The Gray Zone

CHAPTER 12

/Levi's POV/

On Friday evening I was so done with seeing Alexis getting sadder and sadder. Even if she tried to put on a faked smile it was actually pretty clear that this non existing communication between her and Jesse exhausted her so terrible much. Paul Gartner could tell me that Jesse would probably be at Mikey's today since his parents were out of town or something. 

After dinner I asked mom if I could borrow her car and explained that Paul had invited me over to him. Luckily she and Alexis didn't asked further questions so I grabbed the keys and put my shoes on before the table was even fully cleared again. 

I knocked at Mikey's house and he opened the door a few seconds later. "What's up man." he greeted me and without hesitation I asked if Jesse was here. His expression changed a bit since his friend and I weren't that close. I wondered if even Mikey knew more about the situation than Alex and I. 

"Um yeah... he's probably on the terrace right now." 

I thanked him and pushed past him into the building. As soon as I entered there was this smell of weed and some beer cans stood around open. I didn't pay attention to the other guys and went straight to the stone terrace. In fact, Jesse was standing there alone. He held a cola can in one hand and in the other a glowing cigarette. 

"Hey, Buddy." I said as I approached him. 

Jesse turned around and after he cleared his throat he greeted me too. We were standing side a side, looking at the green garden of Mikey's parents and the hills behind it. I waited a second and went with my hand through my hair. "Do you have a moment to talk? About Alexis?" He took a sip of his coke and then nodded.

Before I proceeded I sat down on the porch step and Jesse followed. He was still glazing into distance and I forced myself to look at him. 

"Look, I don't know what you want to achieve with whatever you're doing but I'm gonna tell you that you're ruining Alex with that." I made a little pause to phrase my next sentences in my head and somehow it was even quieter than before. "Even if she doesn't want to hear it, I'm probably the person that knows her the best. So please listen. If I had to tell you one person who is deserves to be fully and genuinely happy I'd say her. Because she isn't. But she deserves so, so much happiness. And if you are just going to be a good friend for her – that's okay man. And if you want to date her – then go for it. But don't play games with Alex, don't confuse her over weeks and months and don't try to be a player. 'Cause I know for sure that she likes you and I also know that if she chooses to like you, you're one hell of a lucky motherfucker. Because she'll so deeply care about you and want to make sure you're okay and feel appreciated and loved that you'll see she's an actual angel, okay?" I took a deep breath and noticedthat he had turned his head to me and looked me in the eyes. 

"Alexis isn't like you think she is. Shit, I don't even know who she is and she doesn't know either yet. But she sees the world in another light – on some days like a dark and horrible place and she feels like drowning but she's still fascinated by every living organism, by how we can think and how things are made and how obscure realism in art is – all that stuff. Don't ever worry about that she's smarter than you because she just is. Some people have treated her like trash and hurt her deeply so if she's still brave enough to throw herself out there and wants to get to know you or anybody in general, you better appreciate that. And I don't say that because I'm her brother, I'm telling you this because she doesn't need another jerk who'll screw her over because he can't figure his own feelings out and projects his struggles on her. Do you understand that?" My mouth was dry from speaking so much but I felt much better than before. 

I looked up in the sky and saw a few stars shining through the clouds. Jesse began to nod, still starring at the grass in front of us. Nervous I looked over to him. He wouldn't fuck around with my sister. I wouldn't let him. He seemed pretty absorbed in thoughts.