Surviving

eight

It's been a rough two years since Amber died. My drug use has escalated, and combining that with my need for alcohol every day, I've ended up in the hospital. 'Accidental overdose' they all called it. Ha, it was no accident. If they consider drowning your body in alcohol and packing so much shit into your system that it causes your organs to shut down as an accident, then yeah I guess it was.

Big Ash didn't let me go back into dealing; he says I'm too reckless after the last chance he gave me. To cut a long story short, it was the anniversary of my mom's death and instead of going to meet with a buyer; I kept the stash for myself and drank myself into complete unconsciousness after doing a couple lines. So since then, I'm on strict instructions to stay on the streets and make my money that way.

Now that I'm older, some clients have lost interest in me. They've moved on to the newest member of our little family; Nova. She's twelve - same age I was when I first started - and I've basically taken on the role that Amber had with me. I talk to her and make sure she's alright, take her to get checked and helped her through her first period too. She's like a mini me. She's a lot more timid, scared to leave my side. With her first client, I had to actually be there with her while the guy, well y'know. It was horrible; she wouldn't stop crying which resulted in him slapping her and me slapping him. I couldn't just stand there and let the guy continue to hurt Nova. Needless to say, Big Ash wasn't happy and refused to let me accompany Nova to any more meetings with clients.

I don't know what's happened in her other appointments, but she's completely shut down from us since. Any time someone calls her name or touches her, she'll flinch away. I've covered for her a few times - like what Amber did for me - and I'll go and meet the client instead. None of them were happy to be getting a seventeen year old girl instead of a twelve year old, but once I let them do what they wanted, they didn't care. As long as they got to fuck a girl, they were happy.

I'm unrecognizable now compared to how I used to be when I first came here. I've lost weight because of the cocaine ruining my appetite, and my eyes are darker. I always make it a point to look good for clients, but I can't deny the fact that I still look like shit. I look like what I am; a prostitute.

"Demi, are we ever gonna get out of here?" Nova asks me while cuddling into my side as I finish my bottle of vodka.

"One day baby girl, one day" I reply, my voice raspy and tired.

I really do hope we leave this place soon. I mean I'm grateful for everything Big Ash has done for me, but I want to see the world. I want to actually see LA, not just the dirty outskirts. I want to be a singer, I want to achieve the dream my mom and I both had for myself. I want to make her proud.

"You promise?" Nova croaks, snuggling into me tighter which only causes me to pull her closer.

"I promise" I reply, kissing her gently on her forehead as we lie in silence for a couple minutes before Big Ash tells me I need to get ready for my regular.

My regular is the guy who was my first client; remember the one who basically didn't even have a dick since it was that small? Yeah, him. He always requests for me, claiming I'm "his" since he's the one who got to have a try of me before anyone else. It's really creepy if I'm honest, and Big Ash hates him but he pays a lot to get me to see him.

I reluctantly move Nova from my side and start getting ready to leave. I steal a few glances at Nova as she watches me through the mirror while I put on my make-up.

"Wanna learn how to put on eye shadow baby girl?" I ask her, causing her face to light up. It's the first smile I've seen on her face in weeks.

"Really? You'd teach me?" she asks in disbelief as I turn to face her.