Surviving

sixteen

I managed to catch Nova and myself a cab back to our home. Our proper home. I'm currently consoling Nova as she cuddles into my side in the back of the cab, while I run my fingers through her hair and softly sing to her.

"Can you be my nightingale? Sing to me, I know you're there. You could be my sanity, bring me peace, sing me to sleep. Say you'll be my nightingale.."

It's one of the many songs I've written over the years. I keep a songbook hidden in my belongings and it's honestly been my saviour at times. Sometimes, it helps more than any drug or any self inflicted wound. I only sing for Nova now. Nobody else. I remember singing to her after her first night, and whenever she feels low. She told me it reminds her of her mother, and I feel honoured that she lets me take that over for her.

"I'm sorry about earlier baby girl, I really am" I whisper before kissing her head as she holds onto my waist tighter.

"It's okay, I love you Demi" she replies, lifting her head up to meet my gaze and I can't help but let a tear fall.

"I love you more baby"

We stay like this until the cab arrives at the address I've given him, but the nice moment is short-lived once I look out the cab window.

The house is surrounded by guys with red bandanas, and my stomach immediately drops as I grip onto Nova. Big Ash warned me about this gang, the Scorpions. They're basically Big Ash's rival gang. I don't know why they're here, but they've surrounded the house.

I have to go in and find Big Ash, but I can't leave Nova. I know I'm basically risking both of our lives by making this decision, but Big Ash took both of us in when we had nobody, I can't turn my back on him now. I won't.

"Baby girl, I need you to hold onto my hand and do not let go at any point. Okay?" I say to Nova as she looks at me with fearful eyes. She simply nods her head before grabbing my hand. "Okay, good girl. We have to be really brave and really fast right now. Keep your head low and don't talk to anyone, just hold my hand" I add with strength in my voice. It's fake strength, I'm honestly petrified for what I might see.

"Please wait here. We won't be long" I tell the cab driver and pray that he'll actually stay. He simply nods his head and locks the doors once Nova and I are both outside.

I take a deep breath and have a firm grip of Nova's hand as we walk up to the house, ignoring stares and questions from guys surrounding the house.

Once inside, I lift my head and the mess that greets me forms a lump in my throat. Everything has been trashed. Furniture is torn to shreds, the TV is gone, but what worries me most are the blood stains on the walls and floor. It looks like it's been splattered and my mind can't help but wonder what family member I've lost. A red bandana hangs from the light above the blood spot on the floor, as if it's a salute to the Scorpions for killing a rival.

"Come on baby, we have to get Big Ash" I say in a whisper, feeling sick to my stomach at everything.

I take the squeeze of my hand as confirmation by Nova and we head up the stairs. The staircase has spots of blood dotted up the steps, and as we approach the landing, they only continue into the room known as Big Ash's.

"Okay, Nova sweetheart, I'm going to need you to close your eyes okay?" I say as my voice shakes, I don't want her to see what I know will be behind that door. "I'll be holding onto you the entire time alright? But do not open your eyes, promise?"

"I promise" she whimpers before slowly closing her eyes as I grab hold of both of her hands and walk her beside me.

Taking a deep breath, I push the door open while trying to keep myself calm. The smell is the first thing that hits me, and I feel Nova bury her face into my side in an attempt to mask it. I can't make a sound because I'm in too much shock.

I'm met with the bodies of three members of my family; the family Big Ash welcomed me into. I used to go on drug runs with them back when I was younger, and they helped in the killing of the guy who attacked me. It's clear to me why the Scorpions are here. Our gang killed one of their leaders, and now they want revenge. Scanning the room, there aren't any gang members here, and I breathe a sigh of relief as the tears start to fall. There's so much blood. It's everywhere. I can't even look directly at any of the bodies because it's just too gruesome, with knifes through skulls and necks, I can't bare it.

"Are your eyes still closed baby girl?" I ask Nova while backing up out the room. I feel her nod into my side. "Good girl, you're being so brave. We just need to find Big Ash and then we can go okay?" I say while holding her close to me as we walk back out onto the landing.

"What are you doing here?!" a voice yells from behind before two hands grip my shoulders, causing me to scream.

"Let me go!" I yell, trying to release myself from their grip, but it's no use.

"Shh, Demi it's me. Be quiet or they'll find us"

I quickly turn around to be met by Big Ash, and the relief floods my body. I bury my head into his chest, still refusing to let go of Nova as he holds us both in his arms.

"I'm so glad you're okay. We need to go, now. I have a cab waiting alright, so lets go" I plead, looking up at him. He's giving me a look that makes my heart rip in two. No. "You're coming with us. I won't lose someone else. Ash please, come with us" I whimper, trying to stop my chin from trembling but it's pointless.

"I can't leave. I'm the leader of this place, I have to be the last person here. A captain never leaves his ship Demi" he replies, running a hand through my hair while the other strokes Nova's back.

I can hear her crying, causing me to pull her closer. She may be twelve but she knows what's going on here. I take a moment to look down at her, her eyes are still closed.

Everything starts to feel heavy, and suddenly I hear Big Ash let out a yell. In an instant, my attention is back to him and that's when my heart dies.

"No, oh my God no" I cry out as I watch the flood pour out of his body. "Dad please, don't die on me. We need you here, please" I scream, no longer caring about staying quiet since we're now in the company of more gang members, one still holding the knife that's wedged in Big Ash's chest.

"Check mate" they say, giving me a sly grin.

"Dad please, stay with me okay? I've got you. I love you, please don't die" I cry out while the others laugh at my upset. Nova is still holding onto me, and I shuffle her body so she's in front of me as I turn my back to them.

"D-Demi, run. Don't l-look back" Big Ash chokes out while gasping for air, and the lump in my throat makes it hard to reply.

"No, please don't die" I whimper, taking one of my hands off Nova to try and stop the bleeding on his chest. It doesn't help. There's too much blood.

"I love you, you'll b-be okay. Both of you. M-my girls.. go"

I look down to see Nova with her eyes open, looking at Big Ash. Her expression mirrors mine; completely heartbroken. I don't want to leave him, but he warned me years ago about this happening at some point. Even after the attack, he reminded me that it was even more likely to happen. An eye for an eye, he said.

"I love you" Nova cries before flinging herself onto his blood soaked body, and I have to tear her away.

"Go.."

Letting out a gasp, his eyes go dull. That's it. He's gone.

so big ash is dead, thoughts??