Surviving

nine

Nova has refused to leave my side since the incident. My adrenaline must have been what got me through it all because I woke up the next day in immense pain. I had a doctor's appointment and they basically told me that I had bruising down there and was not allowed to engage in any sexual activity for a month. I wasn't bothered by it, I mean Big Ash already told me that I'm not to do any more street work, but I'm scared he'll make Nova take my place. I refuse to let that happen. She's practically my daughter and I'd rather take the pain and continue to meet clients if it spares her from having to experience it again.

My drug use hasn't decreased, if anything it's increased. Instead of taking the medication prescribed to me by my doctor, I just take an extra line and shot. I know you're not supposed to mix the two together but I've done it for years and I'm still here. I don't care about dying; well I didn't until I met Nova. Since she got here, I guess I've been a little more cautious about my intake, but I haven't stopped. I also make sure to never drink or use around her, I don't want her to start as well.

Big Ash ended up dealing with my regular client. He and all the guys actually went to the usual spot where I'd meet up with him and exchanged a few words. When the guy threatened to call the police, Big Ash went ape shit. It's safe to say that there won't be any knocks on our door from the police in the near future, and there won't be any more meetings. Ever.

Since I'm not on the streets anymore, Big Ash has been getting me up to speed on the deals they've been making and introducing me to some of the new gang members. He even told me I could go with them to one of their drug raids but I said no. The only reason I refused was because I didn't want to have Nova be on her own in the house. Drug raids are the only things that Big Ash attends since he's the boss and wants it done right, and I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone.

Now that my body's recovered slightly from what happened, Big Ash has told me I start back up at work tonight. I reluctantly get myself ready as I hear a knock on my bedroom door.

"Dem, you ready to go?" one of the guys, Trey, asks as I finish getting dressed.

"Yeah, just give me a sec to say goodnight to Nova and I'll meet you out front" I respond, hearing him mutter a few words under his breath that I choose to ignore.

Everyone keeps warning me not to get too close to Nova. While we're all a family and have each other's back, this business is a dangerous one. Big Ash has lost countless friends to gang fights and murders. I can't help it though, there's no denying that Nova and I have a connection. My mom would want me to look out for her.

"Alright baby girl, I've got to go now but I'll be home soon okay? Get some sleep, I love you" I say softly to Nova as she cuddles up into my bed.

She never sleeps in her own room. She says she misses me too much when I'm gone and wants to feel closer to me. I don't mind, I actually find it really adorable.

"Goodnight Demi, I love you and be safe" she yawns before her eyelids slowly close.

I stand outside my bedroom door, smiling at the sleeping child in my bed before turning off the light and heading down to meet the guys.

* * * *

"Okay so what have we got to sell tonight?" I ask Trey as we walk up to our regular corner, waiting for people to drive by.

"I've got a couple bags of coke, pills and some heroin. Boss says we gotta sell at least half tonight" he responds casually while scanning the area, making sure there aren't any cops. "Aren't you eighteen soon?" he adds with a wink, and I roll my eyes.

"Yes Trey and don't even bother looking at me like that. It may make me legal but that's basically irrelevant now if you haven't forgotten" I reply coldly, crossing my hands over my chest.

"Aw shit, sorry dude" he sighs while scratching his head. Trey's a good looking guy but he's seriously so dumb sometimes. I mean how do you forget that your friend has been a prostitute for over five years?

"No worries, dude" I reply, mocking him which causes us both to laugh a little.

Our conversation is cut short as a black range rover slowly pulls up in front of us, and I instinctively grab hold of Trey's arm. Most people who drive around this part of LA in black range rovers are gangs, and we've had to escape a couple shootings at times.

Watching the window slowly slide down, my eyes are met with that of a Latin man. He doesn't look like much of a threat, but Trey puts on the tough guy front just to be cautious. I watch as he slowly approaches the car window, his hands in his pockets.

"What you looking for man?" he asks casually and quietly; I can only just hear him.

"I don't want any drugs, I want to help you both" the man responds, causing Trey to chuckle as he sways from side to side. I can tell he's getting mad.

There's really no reason for him to be mad, but we need to sell some of this stuff or else Big Ash will have our heads.

"Help? Look man, you can help us out by buying some of our stock or get the fuck off my turf. We have a job to do!" Trey says in a raised voice, clenching his jaw and I feel a need to step in before he kicks off more.

"Hey, Trey. Take a second to chill out alright?" I tell him softly, my hand on his back. He nods in response and walks away from the car, leaving me alone with this mysterious guy.

"I'm sorry about that, it's just that we don't have time for messing around. Is it sex you're looking for instead of drugs?" I ask, wondering why the hell he's decided to visit this part of town.

His eyes widen as he nearly chokes on his own spit while suppressing a nervous laugh, and I can't help but feel a little offended.

"What? Am I not good enough for you to fuck or something? Is that what's so funny?" I ask with my guard up, my hands now resting on my hips.

"No ma'am. I work for the Church not far from here and just wanted to offer a helping hand. I don't want drugs, or that. I'm sorry if I offended you" he replies while making eye contact with me.

I can't seem to ignore the weird feeling forming in the pit of my stomach as he continues to look into my eyes. There's a safety within his gaze that I've never come across before. There's almost a want for me to say 'yes, help me' but I refrain.

"Listen, um, we gotta go. We don't need any help" I say quickly, averting my gaze.

"Wait, you look familiar. What's your name?" he asks, and I can't help but glance back up at him in total confusion. How can I look like anyone? The only person I looked like was my mom and she's dead.

"Excuse me?" I reply, my voice a little more assertive than usual.

"Sorry, I know that sounds odd. You just look like someone at my church and I was wondering if you guys were related. So, your name?" he asks with a soft smile, and I can feel my heart melt a little.

No, get it together.

"That's impossible. The only person I had in life was my mom and she's dead. And there's no reason for you to know my name. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to work" I say coldly, turning around before he can ask me more questions.

I hear his car engine start back up, and I look over my shoulder to steal a glance.

"Sorry for intruding, God bless you guys" he says with a smile, lightly waving his hand before the window starts to slowly rise.

Our eyes remain locked in contact, the feeling in my stomach increasing. I don't know what that feeling is. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he's the first guy to not ask anything of me; not sex, not drugs. All he wanted to do was help.

And now he's gone.