Surviving

fifteen

She's standing there with a look on her face that I can't quite make out. I can't tell if she's upset, or if she's feeling some sort of higher power over me. All I can really think about right now is that I have one more line to do.

"Demi?! Demi where are you?" I hear Wilmer shout from further down the hall, and his footsteps are only coming closer. He can't see me this way. No, it'll ruin everything. My eyes widen as a smirk forms on Dallas' face. I silently plead with her to stay quiet, but it's no use.

"She's in here Wil" she yells, turning her head into the hall so she can see him, and I use that opportunity to take my last line.

I quickly clean my nose and stand up, hiding my straw in the back pocket of my jeans. I walk over to the sink and start running the tap, just in time as Wilmer walks in.

"Are you okay nena?" he asks me while I splash my face with water to try and look a little less, well, high.

"Okay yeah I'm fine, I just needed a second to freshen up" I reply before reaching for a towel to dry my face.

I catch Dallas' eyes on me, her mouth is tight and her arms are crossed. She clearly doesn't know who she's messing with.

"Demi?" a little voice calls out and my eyes quickly shift from Dallas to Nova who's now standing in the doorway. "Are you okay? I missed you" she says before running towards me with her arms out.

"Aww baby girl I'm perfectly fine" I reassure her while holding her petite frame in my arms, "and I missed you too"

I look up at Wilmer who's watching us with a smile. I smile back softly before hearing a scoff from Dallas.

"Is there a problem Dallas?" I ask as the effects of my using kick in; overpowering confidence.

"Oh no, not at all" she replies with a smirk, causing my to furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Demi, your nose is bleeding" Nova says softly and I immediately hide my nose with my hand. Nose bleeds are a side effect from taking too much cocaine, but if I stay calm then I can play it off well.

"Here, have a tissue" Wilmer says, holding out one for me to take.

I mutter a quick thank you before replacing my hand with the tissue to try and stop the bleeding. My eyes shift to look at him, and the expression on his face is one of question and worry. His eyes are scanning me, from my nose to my arms and then the rest of my body. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel uncomfortable, it's almost as if he's sizing me up. I don't understand why.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I ask as the paranoia sets in.

He thinks you're fat. He thinks you're a freak. He knows your secrets. You're dumb if you think he wouldn't notice. No, Wilmer isn't like that. Of course he is, all men are. Remember the guys who would tell you that you were too fat for them? Or the ones who made you get so high that you can't even remember what they did to you? Please stop, I can't take this anymore. You're nothing. Nothing.

"Demi!!"

I open my eyes to see that I'm crouched in the corner of the bathroom, my nails digging into either side of my head. Everyone is looking at me as if I'm crazy. I'm not crazy.

"Demi, you're okay. I've got you" Wilmer says as he slowly approaches me, but I automatically whimper and flinch. "Hey, I won't hurt you" he adds softly, reaching out a hand for me to hold. I don't take it.