Desolation // l.p.

Chapter IV

"Good Morning Ms. Fletcher."

I hear after I walk into the tall glass doors and am immediately greeted by the woman at the counter on my right. I give her a nervous smile before I continue to walk through the lobby. My eyes scan over the sitting area on my right where a bunch of nervous looking people sit. A young man with glasses sits with a paper in his hands that can't seem to stop shaking. His lips mouth the words as he reads over it silently. I can almost guess that he probably has an interview with Mr. Payne. I laugh to myself, a little proud that I can point that out when I realize that I have no idea where I'm going. I stop in my tracks and turn around to go ask the woman at the desk

"Excuse me, do you know where-"

"The top floor, Mr. Payne has been waiting for you." She speaks as her fingers glide over the keyboard.

"Waiting for me? But I'm five minutes early." I tell her pulling out my phone and checking the time to check that I am correct. How could he be waiting if I'm not even due here for another few minutes. It's not like I'm late. The woman shrugs as she continues to type away on her computer. I huff in annoyance at her lack of knowledge and walk to the elevators. I press the button and wait for one of the three to open. The elevator on the right dings open and I blindly collide into someone as I try to rush in. All of their papers fall and scatter across the floor of the small elevator.

"I'm so sorry." I apologize picking up the papers they'd been holding.

"It's about time you showed up." Mr. Payne's voice says lowly and I freeze. Afraid of looking up I continue to slowly pick up the papers I've just managed to knock out of my bosses hands. When I stand up I hold out the small pile for him to grab, avoiding his eye contact.

"I didn't think I was late." I gulp and wait for him to tell me what I'm doing.

"You thought wrong. My assistant should be here a half an hour before I am. For you, that should be about seven a.m." He speaks firmly and I nod silently staring at the floor. He pushes the button to the top floor where his office is and we wait silently as the elevator rises. So far it's the slowest and most agonizing elevator ride of my life. When the door opens he looks at me expectantly before motioning for me to exit the elevator. I walk out and see the familiar receptionist area from where I sat waiting for my interview. I gulp when I get a dirty look from the woman behind the desk. What did I do? Is everyone mad that I'm late? I didn't know it was that big of a deal, nor did I know it even was a deal. No one ever told me I had to be here early.

I keep my head down as I follow Mr. Payne to his office, closing the door behind me when we get there.

"This is my schedule for the next month. Learn it and keep track of my appointments." He says and drops the pile of papers I knocked down into my arms. I blink down at the pile and then back up to him, making sure he is actually serious.

"There has to be fifty papers in this pile." I laugh looking through the top paper which just so happens to be today's.

"What can I say, I'm a busy man." He suggests and leans against the front of his desk. My eyes watch him hesitantly as he stares back at me with curiosity. His presence still is a bit too much for me to comprehend. I look back down to see what he has first on his schedule and notice 'Interviews' fill up half of his day.

"What are these interviews for?" I ask noticing how little of information the papers actually offer.

"I need a publisher." He states and stands up, walking behind his desk and pulling out a paper. I bite my tongue before I let myself freak out on him. He would say that. Dammit. This man doesn't make any sense, that should be my job. Hell it is my job, he just won't give it to me and I don't understand why. I refrain from jumping over his desk and attacking him, not that I could ever build up the courage to do that but still I hold myself back.

"Do I have a desk?" I ask through gritted teeth. Trying to keep my voice calm and hide my anger as he throws the publishing job in my face. He probably did it on purpose too.

"Out front, next to Victoria." He says not removing his eyes from his paper. He acts like I'm supposed to know who Victoria is. My memory flashes back to the frowning woman down the hall and I pray it isn't her, though I highly suspect it is. I give Mr. Payne one last angry and longing look as he stares down at the paper in his hand. I contemplate sticking my tongue out at him for being an asshole but stop myself. I'm not a five year old. I remind myself.

I leave his office without a dismissal, not really caring if he still needed me. I shouldn't be acting so rude, especially since this is only my first day. But it's not necessarily my fault he has managed to piss me off within my first ten minutes or working.

I walk down the hallway and stop at the desk where the woman was earlier, she sits there now talking to someone on the telephone. She catches me staring at her and I quickly move my gaze to the empty desk next to hers. Mine I'm guessing. I block out the woman's conversation as I set the papers on my desk and sit down in the white chair- it's not the most comfortable office chair I've sat in. I page through the first few papers, not really reading them but scanning them over looking at what type of things Mr. Payne has on his schedule. Every now and then I encounter an event labelled "private meeting" and my mind wanders at the possibilities of what those are for.

"Excuse me." A nervous voice pulls me from my thoughts of Mr. Payne and I look up to see the boy from the lobby who couldn't seem to hold still. "I have an interview with Mr. Payne." He says and I perk up but feel lost at the same time. What am I supposed to do? Escort him? Tell him where the room is? I think back to my interview and remember the woman walking me back to his office.

"Oh, right this way." I tell him standing from the desk. I give him a reassuring smile, even though he has every reason to be nervous. I walk him back the hallway to the doors and turn to the boy. "Be careful, he can smell fear." I joke and manage to get a small laugh out of the boy. I turn back to the doors and knock on them and then open one of them and sheepishly peek my head in the room.

"Mr. Payne, your first interview is here." I tell him with a shaky and unsure voice.

"Thank you, Ms. Fletcher." He frowns and I take that as my cue to leave. I push the door further open and watch as the boy scurries through it, tripping over his feet and falling to the floor. I gasp and kneel down to help him up. I grab his glasses and brief case, both of which he managed to drop. I pull him up by his elbow with my free hand, steadying him as he clears his throat.

"Thanks." He says as I hand him his belongings.

"No problem. Good luck." I whisper to him before I rush out of the room. When I get through the doors I close them and lean against the one, taking a deep breath. I never should have taken this job. I feel way too pressured and uncomfortable when I am in the same room with Mr. Payne. I feel embarrassment for that poor guy, falling in front of Mr. Payne right before his interview. It must have been humiliating for him.

Once I catch my breath I walk back out to where my desk is, the woman, hopefully Victoria glares at me as I take a seat. I can't help but feel I've done something wrong. It's obvious why she doesn't like me. It's because I don't fit in. It has to be, she has on a pencil skirt with high heels and I'm wearing a paisley dress that should probably be worn to picnics. Her hair is perfectly kept on top of her head and I threw my hair into a top knot. Her ruby red painted lips are drawn into a frown while I have minimalistic make up on.

I know I'm different but she could at least have tried to be friendlier. I drop my head into my hands as I realize this is nothing like how I'd dreamt it would be. Everything I do just feels wrong. Maybe I should tell Mr. Payne I want to quit. My mother was right, there are plenty of other publishing places that will give me the job that I really want. I won't have to deal with an intimidating boss or rude and perfect co-workers.

I can't think of me ever wanting to work anywhere else though. I sigh and lift my head up, rubbing my temples somehow finding myself stressed out. I can feel the woman next to me staring at me, probably with hatred filled eyes because of my outfit being "so last season" or something ridiculous like that.

Feeling overwhelmed I quickly stand up and go the elevator. I need to find the bathroom and take a breather alone, before I have a panic attack.