Desolation // l.p.

Chapter XXXVII

I dry my eyes one more time, wiping off the last of my makeup that I've managed to cry off in the past six hours. I haven't done anything today but sit and think, too distracted by my personal life. My thoughts have been racing between the way Alex treated me and the way Liam asked me to join him tonight. I've been between heartbroken and anxious all day and the end doesn't seem to be in sight.

I toss the paper towel into the trash can and take one last cringe-worthy look at myself in the mirror. There are slight black smudges under my eyes but I'm not going to bother with them. I'm one of the only people left in the office since Mr. Ryan, Liam and Ashley all had to leave for a meeting at Payne Industries. No one is here to see the distress that I am in and I'm thankful for it. I fear talking about it may make me cry more.

I can't get it out of my head though. The anger swirling in Alex's eyes, the way I still burned from his touch as he pushed me away from him. The way I still felt his eyes on me as I shamelessly and silently put my dress back on and left with tears brimming my eyes.

The door to the restroom flies open and snaps me back to reality. A woman I don't recognize walks in and I drop my head, deciding that I should leave. When she doesn't say anything and I make it out of the bathroom without her saying anything I sigh and continue on to my office. Relieved that my appearance didn't draw too much attention takes a weight off of my shoulders.

I probably look like the most pathetic person. I've got makeup streaked down my face, my eyes are red, cheeks puffy and a wrap on my sprained wrist. I look like a walking mess and it's ironic because I feel like one too. When I get to my office I notice that it is only three o'clock. Mr. Ryan gave me permission to leave early if I wanted since no one else would be here. I think I may do just that.

I still have to tell Liam about my change of heart. I will join him for dinner tonight. I myself have feelings that need settled and now that Alex has literally- pushed himself out of the picture- I think the next step to me moving on from the whole mess that my life has been for the past few months will be to sort them out.

The first day that I met Liam is still fresh in my mind. I can still feel the buzz that I got from having his hands on my knees, kneeling in front of me. The whirlwind of emotion that has come from knowing him is no consolation, but all of the small moments we've had together makes all of the confusion and anger worth what it's been.

I turn off my computer and grab my purse, making sure that everything is appropriately organized for me tomorrow. I can barely believe that it is only Wednesday, it feels like the week should be over already. With my head down I leave and head for home, trying to distract myself with thoughts of clothing.

Should I wear something nice tonight? Or more casual? It would definitely help if I knew exactly what he has planned...

I pull my phone out, considering calling him. I'm afraid it would just be pointless though. I doubt that he would answer though. He's supposed to be in a meeting right now or finishing one up anyway. I shouldn't be so quick to distract him from his work, he's probably in the middle of giving a speech or something else really important. I don't even think about it when I hit the tiny little phone next to his contact.

It rings once. Twice.  Three times. And he picks up. "Sarah? Is everything okay?" his voice is quiet and he sounds worried.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just wanted to call and see if that invitation to dinner was still on the table?" I ask with confidence, kicking a stone along the sidewalk beneath me. I make a right turn on the to follow the sidewalk and almost run into someone. "Sorry." I mutter as I pull the phone away from me slightly, still waiting for Liam's response.

"You've changed you're mind?" I can tell he has a smirk on his face, his voice gives it all away.

"I did." I admit and try to hide the giddy smile on my face. I look up to the sky, it's a bright blue, clear and the sun is shining warmly across my face, a rare and beautiful day.

"Well, I suppose I could still have you join me. Only if six o'clock suits you." He says and I agree with the time.

"I'll be there."

"Sounds good. See you then." The line goes dead, he must have hung up. I pull my phone away and look at the time, it's only been fifteen minutes since I left work, my walk home is about another ten. That will give me two hours to get ready to be at his apartment on time. That should be enough time for me. Keyword "should be", who knows how long it will take me to find something that I will actually want to wear.

I make quick time of the rest of my walk. I immediately get in the shower when I am back at my apartment. The warm water releases the tension of my day. As I go between my bedroom and the living room I try not to think about all the time spent with Alex, focusing on an evening that should be a great distraction. If there is one thing Liam does, it's distract me. It doesn't matter what he really does he just always manages to be the center of my attention. He takes up every corner of my mind, both in the shadows and in the light.

I open the door to my closet, looking through the small selection of my clothing. There is a fine line  between my work attire and casual attire. I separated them when I moved in, hoping it would make my mornings easier when I had to pick out my outfit for the day. My hand finds the silk material of the dress that I'd worn on my first day at Payne Industries. It was surprising to me when the Cleaners could get all of the soot and dirt off of it. I was almost positive that my rogue walk in the rain would have been the end to it. I grab it and decide I'll wear it tonight. I haven't worn it since I got it cleaned and it remains to be one of my favorite dresses that I own.

I pull it off of the hanger and slip it on, simultaneously dropping the towel that I was wrapped in onto the floor. It fits just as comfortably as it did before and I smile, remembering the day that I got it. I was with my sister, we had driven down into California on our way to Malibu for a weekend at the beach. It was only a year or to ago and we had to make an emergency stop in San Francisco because Genevieve had gotten car sick. We ended up spending and entire day walking around the city and shopping. That was a fun trip...

I shake the memories away for now, maybe I can visit them again later when I am not on a time sensitive schedule. I have about forty-five minutes until I have to be at Liam's apartment, travel time included so I should probably leave soon. I return to my closet and dig through my shoes, finding a pair of my white sandals to wear. Unlike my dress my red flats were ruined and I haven't managed to find a pair that I like well enough to replace them. If it were up to me I would still be wearing them if my mom hadn't thrown them away before I moved out.

Slipping the sandals onto my feet I gather my purse and phone from the front door, ready for dinner. I can't remember ever being this excited to see Liam. Ever. But the butterflies in my stomach are telling me that something is going to happen, and I'm excited to find out what.

A/N: sooooo it's been a while. I'm sorry!! My school is finally over but i just started a part-time job and I'm babysitting also and I have to read two books for my AP english class and I just haven't really been active for the past week trying to get it all settled in but I'm managing and I am very thankful for your continuous patience and support it. You guys don't know how gracious I am to all of you because this is the only constant in my life around my revolving schedule and it just really means alot. Next update WILL NOT take as long. I swear it.

Thank you so much - Rachel Xx