Desolation // l.p.

Chapter XXIX

"Ms. Fletcher."

My skin crawls. I feel ice run through my veins as my body freezes. I don't want to turn around. I don't want to face the man who I've spent the last month of my life forgetting. I don't want to be here.

This can go one of two ways. One; I can turn around be curteous and nice. We can be cordial and formally talk about the union of the two publishing companies. In this vision, I can manage to keep my cool and not cry, or be emptional, or confused at the mixed signals that I received once upon a time. Or, two; I can ignore him. Run out of the resturant and go home. Then tomorrow, after Mr. Payne tells my boss of my rude departure he'll come into my office and yell at me. Possibly even fire me and ruin the rest of my life as I struggle to find another company that will hire me after I worked and quit two companies within two months.

Obviously option one is more realistic to what I need to do. Option two is favorable because of running away but I've already run from Liam once, I can't run forever. Eventually I'll get a side-stitch and need a breather and I'm thinking that time is now. Especially after I only worked at Payne Industries for a month which made quitting risky. It showed that I wasn't committed and I quit too easily. The fact that Ryan & Dunning hired me with that on my resume was lucky. This being said, I have to suck it up and do this. I need to acknowledge Mr. Payne. I need to be nice to him. I need to turn around.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I shift on my feet before turning to face him. I regret it as soon as I see him. He looks better than he did when I left. His hair is pushed up off of his forehead and slight stubble covers his jaw. The whiskey color of his eyes seems to have gotten lighter. They glow the color of homey and its breathtaking.

"Mr. Payne." I breathe and stare down at the wooden floor. The new finish on the wood is suddenly more interesting thantrying to not look at him in awe.

"It's been a while." He comments and my heart begins to race. I wonder if he missed me. Or if he even cares that I quit. After I left his apartment in the middle of the night with the interesting cause of my leave it isn't difficult for me to think that he doesn't. Standing here with a smug grin covering his features amd his hands tucked safely into the pockets of his dress pants, I'd say it doesn't bother him, I don't think anything really bothers him.

"Yeah. It has." I admit, thinking about how the time we have been apart was on purpose, at least on my part.

"We'll have to catch up sometime. Maybe go back to that diner I took you to." He suggests as his eyes warily scan the room, seeming uninterested in our small conversation. It's disappointing to see that though his looks have changed, his personality hasn't.

"Yeah, sure." My mouth speaks the words before I think them through. I definitely don't want to meet up with him, I don't want anything to do with him. I relax when he nods and walks away, leaving me to stand alone. I ignore the part of me that wonders why he walked away. There was a time that he had feelings for me, but it seems not anymore. At least my sister thought so. I don't want to deny that I believed it too, the last night with him just has me believeing differently. Something changed and I want to know what... He seems more distant than he was when I left. The kind of distance that doesn't come from being apart. Does he not think I'm good enough company now that I don't work for him anymore?

Or so I thought... I need to get more information on this whole partnership thing before I'm blindsided by him again. A partnership between the two publishing companies doesn't make any sense. I remember Mr. Payne calling all other publishers mediocre. So if he thought he was the best, why would he invest in one? Amd why Ryan & Dunning? They aren't the most popular under Payne Industries, I could think of a few other that he would benefit more form than Ryan & Dunning.

I scoff, and close my eyes imagining what it would be like to have a drink to forget my awful encounter. The sting of whiskey in my throat would be better than the sting of him walking away was amd the thought of working under him after trying to get away from him. My thoughts are overwhelming, I can't manage to come up with why I want him to be away from me but also close to me as well.

I want him next to me, talking to me, looking at me and wanting to be near me. But I also want him no where close to me so he can belittle and condescend me. I don't want him to be in charge of me, I don't want to work for him in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't make sense. Then again I'm not sure I can convince myself that something ever has.

"Hey, here's a water." Alex's voice breaks through the barriers of my mind and brings me back to reality. I look up to his emerald eyes, then look to the water he's holding out for me to take. I hesitantly grab it, trying to remember if I had asked him or told him to get me a water.

"Thanks." I mumble and take a sip of it. Mr. Payne is still in the back of my mind, haunting the part of my brain that refuses to forget everything about him.

"Did you know that we were doing this whole Ryan & Dunning meets Payne Industries thing?" I ask, hoping he may have some information to give me.

"I had heard something about it. It's only a temporary thing so I didn't bother looking into it too much." He shrugs and eyes a waiter who is carrying a tray of horderves.

"Crab filos?" The waiter asks, holding the try up and slightly in our faves. I back away slightly as Alex grabs one, not even hesitantly shoving it into his mouth. The waiter gives me a look, pushing the tray towards me. I shake my head, I'm not really a big fan of seafood. Crab being one of the ones that I dislike most. My family claims that it doesn't make any sense since they all live off of it. I'm not sure why I don't like it, it's just something that I've always found to be tasteless.

"Do you know anything else about the partnership? Like what is going to change with it?" I ask as the waiter finally leaves and Alex finishes up the food in his mouth.

"I don't really know. Someone had said Mr. Payne is getting an office at Ryan & Dunning while the Partnership lasts. I don't really know much else." An office? If it's temporary, why does he get an office? What could they be planning that he needs one in the first place? It's not even like the two companies are far apart from each other either. the distance between the two is no more than five miles.

"I wonder when they'll be serving dinner?" Alex thinks aloud and scans his eyes across the room, he's tall enough to see over the heads of most of the people here.

I didn't know they would be serving dinner at all, not that I really want to eat right now. Everyone is standing around amd there is barely any room for anyone to sit down. Even thinking bout eating something makes me feel sick, I've lost my appetite through the course of the evening.

"Do you want to get out of here?" I say to Alex, trying to find a way to not have to go home alone. To be honest I'd go anywhere if it meant not being alone.

"What?" He asks with a smirk on his face. His tan skin glows under the lights that only seem to be making the room feel warmer.

"Come on. Let's leave." I say and hrab his arm. I try to pull him through the crowd after he laughs and agrees. The door is my destination and nothing will stop me from getting to it. If there is one thing I've learned how to do, it's walk out and that is exactly what I plan to do.

A/N: omg so I'm on a bus going to Cleveland right now and with a six hour drive I figured what better thing to do than sit and write and get a chaoter written, so that's what I did. I don't really have much else to say so I guess vote and comment and I'll talk to ya later!

Love you lots- Rachel Xx