Desolation // l.p.

Chapter XXXIV

It takes me a few minutes to reorganize the papers on my desk and when I finally do I am determined to finish this manuscript. But as I lean my elbows on the desk, I can't stop thinking about what just happened on it. I can't stop thinking about the whispers in my ear that promised they were coming over again tonight as Alex and I sat in here, holding each other basking in our afterglow.

I can't stop thinking about how the words made me feel sad, and didn't bring a giddy and anxious feeling for me to have for the rest of the day. A feeling that made me so excited for tonight and all of the things we would be doing. I didn't tell him not to come over though, I sat there and listened to his dirty thoughts for the evening. Most of them brought another dull ache to form between my legs, one that I concealed and ignored.

I also find myself wondering what it would be like to have sex with Mr. Payne in here. Him pounding me in to the desk, telling me that he'd fuck me so hard I wouldn't remember my name. I can only imagine what it would be like, and what I imagine is rough. Rough, hair pulling, make-leaving sex.

I hate that he is on my mind. Especially now after what he just stood in here and did to me. I should hate him. I should want him to be face down, dead in a ditch after what he did. But after the minimal crying, the reality of it just made me want him more. I've been repressing my feelings for him ever since I met him and I shouldn't have. He is handsome, has a sexy accent and looks really, really good in a suit. So why have I been so ashamed to admit the feelings that I have?

The phone begins to ring and I jump, the unexpected loud noise drags me from my train of thoughts. I pick it up after the caller I.D. has Ashley's name flash on it. This must be her calling me about lunch, to discuss when we want to leave and where we want to go.

"Hey, I was thinking about-"

"What the hell did you do?" she asks through the phone in a whispered tone. The edge on her voice throws me off, she sounds genuinely angry.

"What do you mean?" I ask and set the still unfinished manuscript down on my desk. Since this morning I have only managed to read about eight chapters of it, usually at this time of day I am through at least twenty.

"What did you do to Mr. Payne? He stormed out of here and called Mr. Ryan. He apparently said that he is changing his mind about having an office in the building, and because so he is pulling half of his funding from the merge." I try to process everything she is saying, but lack to find why it is so important that he have an office here anyway. The funding thing sounds like a bigger deal than that.

"I don't understand. . . " I murmur, my mind racing.

"Understand this, Sarah. Mr. Ryan is pissed. He's angry to a point that even I can't help what he does to you. Luckily I convinced him that I would take care of everything and this would all be fixed and that he needed to stay focused on his trip to New York. You are going to apologize to Mr. Payne tonight and convince him to continue with plans already established. Got it?" she asks and I hesitate. I don't want to do that, I don't want to face him again so soon after this morning. "Sarah, if you don't do this you could lose your job." she exclaims and I close my eyes. They sting with tears as I try and hold back from crying again. Of coure this would happen. Of course he could find a way to not be my boss, and still ruin my job.

"Okay." I agree quietly. I tell her I have to go, to finish the manuscript I am reading and that I won't be eating lunch with her today with so much yet to be done. I hang up and let out a breath I was apparently holding. One that I will probably be holding again up until I see Mr. Payne tonight. Maybe even after I'm done seeing him.

•••

I stand on the stone steps that lead into Liam's apartment building. I've been staring up at the building for a few minutes now. People have pushed me, given me questionable glances, but I still haven't been able to do anything but stare at it. The last time I was here I rushed out in the middle of the night. The last time I was here I woke up to him watching me sleep. It was the first time I'd ever heard him call me beautiful and the last time I had ever planned on seeing him. Now look at me. Pathetically standing outside of his building, ready to apologize for something that wasn't even my fault just so I can keep my job. The thought makes me cringe, the reality of me actually doing it makes me sick to my stomach.

I shouldn't be so willing to apologize. I should have more pride and respect for myself. If my job wasn't on the line, I wouldn't be apologizing at all. He confronted me. He cornered me and demanded that I tell him something that I hadn't even admitted to myself.

"Watch it." a man snaps as he shoves into my shoulder, I stumble backwards losing my balance on the step and tumble back onto the street level sidewalk. I look at the three steps up that I had been standing on. He basically just shoved me down the stairs.

"Asshole." I mumble as I go to get up. I begin to lean on my hand when a sudden pain makes me cry out. I fell back onto my wrist, and now it looks like it may start to swell.

"Sarah, are you okay?" The familiar accent fills me with more dread than my hurt wrist. Liam kneels down beside me, at least I know now that he wasn't in his apartment, if I'd have gone up sooner he wouldn't have been there. "That guys a dick. He lives on the floor below me." He says as he takes his hand and wraps it around my upper arm. He helps me up and I thank him, careful not to move my sore wrist.

"I- I think I sprained my wrist." I mutter quietly, still observing it. I can barely move it and when I do, the pain is agonizing.

"Does it hurt to move?" he asks grabbing at my arm yanking my wrist sideways and I seethe, the pain almost unbearable.

"Oh, yeah." I muse, my eyes scrunching shut.

"God, I'm sorry." he says dropping my arm and backing away. "Why don't you come up to my place, I can call one of my neighbors. They are a doctor." he offers and I nod. I can't believe what an asshole that guy was. Shoving me like I wasn't even there. I can't entertain the idea of doing y job with a sprained wrist. I do a lot of writing and typing and reading with my dominant hand which of course is the one that hurts. "C'mon." he mutters, his lower hand rests on my lower back as he escorts me into his building. All of earliers events seem to be forgotten. For now anyway.

A/N: hi guys

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