Autumn is a second spring

112. Clarity

The room was dimly lit, save for the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting elongated shadows on the walls. 

Fluke sat at the edge of the bed, his eyes fixed anxiously on Prem who lay unconscious under the covers. The rhythmic sound of rain against the windowpane provided a bleak background score to his thoughts. 

The doctor had come and gone, assuring him that the fainting spell was just a case of low blood pressure, a fever from the rain, and sheer exhaustion. Nothing critical, the doctor had said. 

Still, Fluke couldn't shake off the heavy feeling that something was off. He could feel that in the way Prem hugged him. It was not a simple hug, it felt more like a hug of dependence, and Fluke couldn't let it off his mind.

Ohm lingered by the doorway, watching Fluke. "You should go to bed, Fluke. Its already late. Didn't the doctor say that he was alright? Then what are you so worried about? Get some sleep" he said softly. 

Fluke shook his head, not even glancing at him. "I can't, Phi."

The short reply made Ohm's stomach twist. There was a sharp edge to Fluke's voice—not of anger, but concern, deep concern for someone who wasn't him. Ohm turned around without another word, feeling an odd combination of annoyance and jealousy boiling within him. He walked out, leaving Fluke in silence.

Fluke barely registered Ohm's departure. His thoughts were fixed on the velvet box in his hands. He opened it again, fingers brushing the cold metal of the couple rings nestled inside. They were simple, elegant, and full of meaning. 

Fluke remembered when Prem had proudly told him how he had been saving up to buy this pair of rings for him and Boun. He had invested nearly all his savings into these rings, convinced they were the start of forever. Now, they lay heavy in Fluke's palm like a cruel joke.

He sighed and closed the box, looking back at Prem, whose face was still pale under the faint light. 

The rings weren't the only thing troubling him. The email Ja had sent him earlier still echoed in his mind. Its contents had shaken him, but he hadn't yet had the time or strength to deal with it. Especially not now.

A soft groan pulled Fluke from his thoughts. Prem stirred slightly, his brows furrowing before his eyes slowly opened.

"Flukie?" Prem's voice was groggy and barely above a whisper.

Relief rushed through Fluke's body, quickly overtaken by a surge of frustration. "What the heck were you thinking, Bub?" he asked, his tone firmer than he intended. "Running around in the rain like that, not eating anything all day—do you even know how worried I was when you collapsed? How long have you been in the rain? You whole body was so cold and trembling when you hugged me!"

Tears welled up in Prem's eyes before Fluke could even finish speaking. His lips quivered and, without a word, he reached out and pulled Fluke into a hug, burying his face in his shoulder. His body shook with silent sobs that gradually grew louder.

"Hey, hey," Fluke whispered, his irritation melting into concern. He helped Prem sit up, steadying him gently. "What's wrong? Why are you crying like this?"

"Hia proposed to James," Prem choked out between sobs.

Fluke blinked, sure he had misheard. "What?"

"Hia proposed to his secretary, the one about whom I had mentioned to you," Prem repeated, his voice cracking. "I saw it with my own eyes."

Fluke frowned, trying to process what he was hearing. "No. That can't be right. You must have misunderstood. P' Boun would never—"

"There was no misunderstanding!" Prem interrupted, pulling away to look at Fluke with red, teary eyes. "After I came back from meeting J' Priya, I went to our house. I made his favorite dishes and brought them to his office, thinking I could surprise him... and then I saw it."Fluke's mouth parted slightly in disbelief, but Prem continued.

"He was on his knees. With a ring. Asking James to marry him. Everyone was cheering. Laughing. Like it was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. And maybe it was. Maybe they were right. James is beautiful. James is kind. Fair-skinned and soft-spoken—exactly Hia's type. And he got along with Bew way better than me."

Prem felt bitter as he spat out those words. The past few hours had been the most painful hours of his life. There were moments when he wanted to kill himself, when he felt so worthless and useless.

Fluke held his breath, unsure of what to say. He remembered how he had often convinced Prem about Boun, how many times Prem had forgiven Boun's shortcomings, believing that love would eventually be enough.

"You are wrong," Fluke said quietly. "P'  loves you. He would never—"

"Don't. Don't defend him. Not now." Prem looked away, biting his lip. "I should have seen it coming. I asked him to keep his distance from James. Begged him. But he let James move in when I was away. God knows what happened between them behind my back."

"You don't know that anything did," Fluke said, his voice strained.

"Does it matter?" Prem laughed bitterly, tears still falling. "I was never the one he chose. Not really. He never even asked me to be his boyfriend. I waited. And waited. I told myself actions meant more than titles. But today... today he gave James the title he never gave me. With a ring. In front of everyone."

Fluke felt a lump in his throat. "Prem... maybe there's more to the story. Maybe it wasn't a real proposal. Maybe—"

"No, Fluke!" Prem cut in, his tone sharp. "I saw it. I heard it. There is no maybe. He knelt in front of someone else. With the same kind of ring I spent months saving up for."

He opened the velvet box and stared at the rings. "I bought these thinking we wouldd start our forever. But now... I don't even know what we were."

"I am sorry," Fluke whispered. It felt meaningless, but it was all he could say. 

"Don't be. This has nothing to do with you," Prem replied, wiping his tears roughly. "I am done. I am done crying over someone who never saw me as enough. I am not going to sit here and accept this insult. Hia made his choice. And now I am making mine. I am cutting all ties."

His words were final, drenched in pain but resolute. Fluke sat beside him in silence, watching a part of Prem shatter and rebuild itself in the same moment.

And though his heart ached for his friend, Fluke knew Prem wasn't just mourning a relationship. He was mourning the version of himself who still believed that love alone could keep someone loyal.

The rain outside continued to pour. But inside, Prem had found his clarity through the storm.