Clintasha One Shots

Waking Up (Natasha's POV)

A/N: Hey everyone, how are you all? I'm over the moon because we hit 9K reads! I'm really chuffed and I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who reads, votes and comments on this book! This part is a two parter, the first part (this one) is in Natasha's POV and the next one will be in Clint's POV. I'm so sorry for how sloppy I am with updating. I write so many parts but then decide I don't like them so I start over. It's a really long process, but I'm happy with this one! I'm going to try and update two books a week, (It's currently the Summer holidays so I have a lot of time on my hands!) Please remember to vote, comment and recommend!

~Sam xx

"Where is he?" I shout down the hospital corridor. A sea of blank faces are before me, clearly none of them know what or who I'm talking about. Steve puts a warm hand on my back. "Tasha, calm down. Getting angry won't help anyone, especially Clint." His soft voice irritates me and I quickly brush off his hand. "The receptionist said that Clint's in theatre having surgery done. We won't be able to see him yet anyway." I stop in my tracks and restrain myself from punching Steve really, really, really hard. I spin around to face him and clench my fists. "Can you stop trying to make this better, because. You. Can't. You can't protect and save everyone Steve." Steve's eyes droop and all of a sudden he looks damaged and broken like when I first met him. "You know what Rogers? Go home." I spit, my words like venom killing him slowly and painfully. Steve mumbles something under his breath before storming off in the opposite direction. I run off to find a nurse to take me to Clint's room.

Finally, a nurse decides to show me to Clint's room. Before she leaves I say "Oh, and I'm so sorry for inconveniencing you." I smile sickly and slam the door. I want to be alone with Clint. Honestly, I didn't expect him to look this injured. A thick IV drip is hooked into his wrist, his right eye is black and purple with bruising. His lower lip is swollen and a few horrible stitches are etched into his jaw. Bandages are wrapped around his legs, arms and some are even plastered onto his chest. The surgeons pulled out fourteen bullets. They had to restart his heart, twice, shave some of his hair off to stitch a gash made by a dagger and they even found a stab wound located towards his left kidney. They told me that he's lucky to be alive. I kneel down beside him, wanting his eyes to open- begging for his eyes to open. A sudden wave of nauseating guilt sweeps over me unkindly. Had I gone with him on that mission- no. This isn't my fault this would have happened even if I was there. I wouldn't have been able to stop him from being hurt. But I warned him! I told him that this would be dangerous and he didn't listen. He didn't care! I want to punish him, but he's been punished enough. I play with the wedding ring on my left hand, I take it off before I go to sleep. I know you're not meant to, but I don't like wearing it. When I wear it, everyone knows that I'm married and I don't like people knowing that about me.

I can't loose him. Not again. Not ever. This is exactly the reason agents shouldn't have relationships with one another. You can't get too attached to someone because the line of work is too dangerous. We thought we could handle marriage and work at the same time. It's hard. Sometimes we won't see each other for months on end. When Clint's away I have to go to bed not knowing wether he's alive or not! That's scary, not knowing wether your loved one is safe. Maybe it's best for both of us if I leave. Leave Clint, leave my home, leave S.H.I.E.L.D and leave my life. Clint deserves to be with someone who can keep him safe, make him happy and someone he can start a family with. I can't give him any of that. He can't be happy with me. I've had my curtain call, now it's time for the credits.

Leaving the hospital was the hardest decision of my life. But I know it was the right one.

Sorry for the cliffhanger! All will be revealed in the next part. Thanks for reading!