I Won't Give Up ~ Michael Clifford

0:78

Bree;

I've been sitting here with Ricky for a whole hour now, I came bringing coffee, some muffins and a yogurt parfait for Ricky. We've been deep in conversation about everything from Declan and his schooling, Sam, Harry and their baby, all the way down to my mental health.

"I can't shake this feeling, it's frustrating." I start, "I don't know, Ricky, I don't get it."

"Don't get what, B?" He says softly, looking at me intently.

"Why Harry didn't call me to tell me about Sammy, like, I had to find out about it through Twitter!" I exclaim, pacing around his room with my coffee in hand.

He exhales slowly, "I think he just didn't want you to overwhelm yourself, and also because you're here with me? Although you really didn't have to-"

"-You're Declan's father, of course I had to come. I mean, you have Kelsey but she shouldn't have to go through this alone either. But a call, or-or a simple text would have been nice. You know, to be kept in the loop" I rambled on and let out a dramatic sigh, plopping my ass down on the chair.

"Bree, don't stress yourself out. You heard Harry, she's fine and the baby is fine. They'll be okay without you for another week or however long you think you're going to be here." Ricky states and I nod.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Did you need anything?" I say and he smiles widely.

"That yogurt parfait would be great, please." I pass it to him and he digs in right away while I smile lightly, watching him.

The rest of the day, I spent it with Ricky. I ended up going to grab us a late lunch since the hospital food looked disgusting, and I brought him some apple juice and ginger ale. About 4:30 later that day Kelsey called and asked if I could go see her and help her out with some stuff, so that's where I am.

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything but why did you need me to come help you grocery shop?" I ask, taking a sip of my iced coffee.

"It's usually Ricky that shops and I needed help with Malachi, I'm sorry." Kelsey says while grabbing a couple packs of pasta noodles.

Malachi is now a year and 7 months, he's walking around on his own and baby talking now. I think he's going to be tall like his brother Declan and father Ricky, oh I can't believe my Declan has another brother.

"He is a wild one that baby," I giggle, "in the cutest way possible, of course!"

Kelsey laughs and we turn onto the next aisle that consists of all things baby. She starts grabbing random snacks for Malachi and I couldn't help but stop her.

"Does he even like any of these?" Picking up a packet of soft apple sauce that had carrots mixed in, I cringed. Declan and Rowan did not like that one, their favorites were apple-strawberry and strawberry-banana.

"We're doing this thing where we get him every kind and see what ones he actually likes. Oh, he loves these strawberry star cookies." Kelsey states and I shrug, I can't judge her; I mean, she is a first time mother in all fairness.

***

We've been puttering around Kelsey and Ricky's apartment for about an hour now and we have gotten nowhere. The blood stains are still there on the floor, Malachi has no clue why his mother is constantly crying so he cries with her and here I am; continuously staring at the stains, tears in my eyes but I won't let them fall.

"Bree, can you help me. Please" Kelsey yells from the kitchen. I walk in and I figure she's asking for help with Malachi because he's constantly following her with every step.