Too much to lose

Tell me once again

Why don't Skye's family speak to her? backstory time...

I slept dreamlessly; a rare blessing in my case. Jake called as soon asI woke up. We talked briefly and I told him I was spending today with

Lola as I'd been feeling guilty that I kept ditching her.

We decided to go to the mall.

We had been shopping for about two hours before we stopped for lunch.

We had just found a table when she caught me off guard.

"Have you told him?" She asked and I almost choked on my drink.

"About what?" I asked innocently.

"How much does he know?" she asked raising her eyebrow at me.

"He knows my life at home is pretty suckish and I don't speak to my

family" I explained.

"But he doesn't know why?" She asked still holding the same skeptical

expression.

"No" I sighed. "It would be better to just forget about it."

"Skye, you know you can't forget about this" she reasoned. I hated whenshe was right.

"I know" I sighed. I hadn't thought about it in so long. It still hurt me even after three years.

"Have you seen her again?" She asked.

"Not since Amy's party" I tried not to wince at the memory.

"Has she tried to contact you again?" The questions kept coming and I

couldn't help feel that I wasn't prepared for this. I had spent the

best part of three years trying to avoid talking about it. The reason Iwas alone.

After the breakup Lola had been the only one of my friends who had

really stood by me. All my other friends insisted it was 'just a phase'or that I was just 'confused'.

The memory unrolled in my mind and I felt a familiar ache in my chest.

I had met Jenny four years ago. She was a few years older than me and

amazing. She became my best friend almost instantly. It was about a

year and a half later when we both realised we wanted something more. At first we didn't tell anyone; agreeing that we would wait and see if

it was just a phase. I wished that it was. No one asked questions,

after all Jenny was my best friend so it wasn't unusual for her to

spend the night at my house. When we had been together for about six months we both agreed to start telling people. I knew what I was

risking but she was worth it. I knew my family weren't very open

minded.

My family disowned me.

She held me the whole night while I cried, telling me over and over

that we didn't need family if we had each other. The next morning she

was going to do the same thing and then we would live out both of our

dreams of moving to New York. I returned from university and she still wasn't home. Her bags weren't packed. I waited up for a while and she

eventually arrived.

"Hey" I smiled as soon as she walked through the door. I made a move

for her mouth but she turned away leaving my lips to brush over her

cheek.

"What's wrong?" I had asked.

"I've been thinking" she had sighed, backing away from me. "This isn't me. I'm not like this" she gestured to us.

"This was a mistake" she finished and I felt my heart break all over

again.

"This is them isn't it?" I had choked out. "You said you wouldn't

listen to your

family!" I cried.

"Maybe they're right" she shrugged.

"You think my family didn't try to feed me this bullshit!?" I screamed. "But I didn't listen! I didn't let them break me because I love you

and you said you would do the same!" I found I could no longer speak

through the angry sobs that tore at me. I only just made it to Lola's before I broke down completely. She had taken care of me for the whole year it had taken to get over it.

The last time I'd seen Jenny was at my only other friend Amy's party. Ihad soon after broken off contact with Amy for assuming I would be finewith her being there since it never really meant anything anyway.

I was brought back to the present by the arrival of our lunch. I wiped away the tears that had began to make their way down my face.

"You know what" I said, my voice uneven and shaky. "I'm not hungry"

"Skye I-" Lola started.

"It's fine" I lied. "I'll meet you back at the hotel" I mumbled

grabbing my bags and trying to leave as soon as possible.

Once I was back at the hotel I lay alone in the double bed and cried myeyes out. I was disturbed from my sorrow by the harsh ringing if my

mobile.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Skye?" Jakes concerned voice came from the other end. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" I lied but my voice gave me away completely.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"My room" I replied.

"One second" he said before hanging up.

I didn't even attempt to move or act like I was fine because I wasn't. I remained in the same position and continued to cry at my bitter

memories.

Jake didn't even knock this time. Instead he let himself in and came tosit beside me. For a while he didn't speak and just held me. That

brought on new floods of tears as I thought of the last time someone

had held me while I cried.

"Wanna talk?" He whispered.

And I told him everything.