Too much to lose

Memories, oh they cut like knives

Jake agreed to my suggestion of going back to England first so I could get myself sorted and then he would stay there until the next leg if the tour began. Lola was fine with giving me some freedom for a while as I'd been doing a lot better lately and also agreed to the plan. 

So after our week was up we boarded the plane home; this time with an extra passenger. 

Once we landed the three of us shared a taxi home. Our first stop was Lola's house. With me and Jake helping carry her bags to the house we only required one trip. She hugged me tightly before we left.

"Be careful" she whispered and I knew she didn't mean just physically.

I hugged her back tightly too. Jake stretched out one of his muscular arms and wrapped it around my shoulders as we walked back to the taxi. 

"My house isn't far" I said once we had pulled away. Jake nodded. He seemed quiet. 

"What's up?" I asked. 

"Nothing" he sighed. "It's just- I guess I kind of know what you mean now. I thought it would be easy to help you get back and you would realise that you could do it, and fix things but just being here and knowing that this is where it all happened… I can't even think about it" he breathed deeply looking angry at something. 

"It hurts me to know that this is where someone hurt you" he confessed. He hugged me tighter and I rubbed comforting circles with my palm over his chest. 

"That's all in the past" I smiled. "I have someone much better now" he smiled down at me and I pulled his lips down into mine. 

We pulled up outside my house and Jake managed to grab all of my bags before I was even out of the car. I pulled out my keys and tried to stop my hands from shaking. Since the breakup I had only been back to the house three times. I breathed out deeply and turned the key into the lock. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hurry up" Jenny laughed, running her crossed arms up and down trying to stay warm. 

"I'm trying" I laughed back. She was wearing a pair of tight black jeans and a slightly too small nyc tee that exposed her flat stomach every time she flapped her arms upwards to try and warm herself. She had no jacket and her hands were almost blue. "I told you to bring a coat" 

"I didn't know the taxi wouldn't show up" she stated still laughing. "I was boiling until then" 

"Done" I announced, finally fitting the key into the tricky lock and throwingthe door open. She shoved me from the doorway comically running inside and falling to the floor.

"I missed you my house" she laughed, kissing the ground. 

"My house" I corrected. 

"For now" she grinned back. She stood from the floor and kissed me out of nowhere. 

"You taste like floor" I laughed. 

"Jealous?" She responded, jiggling her hips and making flirty faces at the carpet. 

"You're a lunatic" I laughed, but I couldn't resist leaning back in to kiss her already pursed lips. 

"But you love me" she teased wrapping her arms around my neck and allowing me to pull her into me by her hips. 

"I'm still trying to figure out why" I laughed back. 

"So" she whispered, close to my face now. "Are you going to let me stay in your house tonight?" She winked. 

I rolled my eyes before she pulled me back into her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Skye, you okay?" Jakes soft voice brought me back to the present. 

"Yeah" I replied quickly snapping out of my trance. "The lock's a bit tricky sometimes" I smiled. 

I had to try to keep from crying as soon as I opened the door. Everything was as it was; as if it was frozen in time. Like she could come back at any minute. But she wouldn't; I'd learnt to stop expecting that. I hadn't realised my face was giving anything away but it must've been because Jake was next to me in seconds wrapping me up in his arms. 

"It's okay" he whispered. 

"I know" I smiled before hugging him back. "It is now"