Too much to lose

Like that dream of you I had

I woke up in a cold sweat. I was shaking and my eyes and face were hot with tears. My throat felt raw an I realised I had been screaming. Again. I lay back in my bed, my hands to my face, and tried to steady my breathing. The door that connected my room to that of my best friend remained closed. I hadn't woken anyone up; hopefully. After what felt like an age of tossing and turning I found I couldn't sleep. I needed to talk to someone an I knew there was only voice that could comfort me. 

I picked up my phone and looked at the clock; it was just after one. I remembered something Jake said about watching sports with Derek until about two in the morning and I hoped this was one of those nights. I texted him. A few moments later my phone was ringing. 

"Jake?" I answered. 

"Yeah it's me" he replied. He didn't sound like he'd just woken up and I was glad I hadn't disturbed him. 

"Hi" 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah I'm fine" 

"Skye" he said, unconvinced. 

"I couldn't sleep" 

"Oh, I see" 

"Well I did" I tried to explain to him. I hated lying to him but it seemed too soon to tell him. 

"Huh?" 

"I can't get back to sleep" 

"Had a nightmare?" He asked. He sounded concerned. Not mocking or mean, he genuinely cared.

"Maybe" I laughed, he was already making me feel better. 

"One second" he said and hung up. 

It was about five minutes later when I received a call from reception. 

"Miss Brooke's, sorry to wake you"

"It's fine" I replied trying my best to sound awake. 

"There is a young gentleman at reception who is asking to be let up to your room" 

"A youn-" I laughed into the darkness. 

"Yes" she replied. "Is this okay with you?" 

"Yes it's fine" I laughed again. I turned on my bedside lamp and rushed to the mirror. I looked a mess. My hair was sticking out in various directions and my travel makeup remover clearly wasn't working a was evident by the mascara trails down my face. I scrubbed them away with a wipe and tried to do something with my crazy bed head. 

I was wearing my purple 'rock and roll ruined my life' T-shirt inspired by Jake himself. It came to about my knees so I didn't usually wear pyjama bottoms with it. I wondered for a second if I should try and find some but there was a knock at the door and I was running towards it before I had chance to. 

Jake was still wearing his outfit from earlier except now a few more of his buttons were unfastened. I chewed my lip as I admired him once again. I ushered him inside. He grabbed me before I knew what was happening and pulled me into a tight hug. 

"You okay?" He whispered, and I could've cried again. 

"I am now" I whispered back hugging him closer into me. He lifted me off my feet and carried us over to the armchair. He sat down, pulling me on top of him. I sat across his lap and rested my head on his chest, his arm pulling me closer. He used his free hand to brush the hair out of my face before dropping it to my knee. 

"You wanna talk?" He smiled. 

I shook my head. 

"That's fine" he said respectfully. 

I looked up into his face, his icy blue gaze studying me intently. I slid up his lap so our faces were closer. My hand made its way from his chest to the back of his neck and I pulled him into me. His lips were just as I remembered them: soft and perfect. 

I let him go and dropped back into my original position. 

"I like your T-shirt" he smiled. 

"Thanks" I smiled back. "Inspired by the coolest guy I know" 

"Yeah, your boyfriend sounds pretty awesome" he joked back.  

"What?" I was stunned. I shifted again to look into his eyes. "You're my boyfriend?" I asked trying to fight my giant grin. 

"If you'll be my girlfriend?" He asked back. I replied by pulling him back into me, my lips once again colliding with his. 

"Of course" I smiled. I was suddenly aware of how tired I was. I yawned widely. 

"You tired?" Jake noticed. 

"A little" I shrugged. 

"You should get to bed" he suggested. 

"No I'm fine" I insisted. 

"Seriously" 

"I can stay awake" I said trying to fight my eyelids open. 

"You need to sleep" he said.

"I don't want you I leave" I confessed. 

"Who said I was going anywhere?"

He wriggled his feet out if his shoes and carried me over to the bed. He set me down in the space I had already claimed and tucked me in with the thin duvet. He made his way to the other side and crawled in beside me. He wrapped me in his arms from behind and I fell asleep feeling safe for the first time in forever.