𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘, 𝖺 𝗀𝗅𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝖻𝗎𝗆

the fear of future hormones

Later that Night ... [n.b's Quarters]

Nico closed the door behind him as if expecting Vicky to burst through it at any moment, brandishing a ladle and weeping about crackers.

He stood very still.

Very quiet.

Then he turned to Bea, who was already tucked under a quilt, reading peacefully.

"...Hey," he said softly.

Bea glanced up, smiling gently. "Hi. Welcome back. Did everything go okay?"

He didn't move. Just... stared.

She frowned. "Nico?"

"I saw Vicky eat four slices of peach cobbler while yelling and crying about Matt's pillow," he said flatly.

Bea blinked.

"She accused Brenda of seasoning the soup wrong on purpose, and then sobbed because Harriet said 'we missed you' in a tone she called 'emotionally unavailable.'"

Bea covered her mouth to stop herself from laughing. "Oh dear..."

Nico stepped closer. Slowly. Cautiously. Like she might also transform into a hormonal storm.

"...Are you gonna be like that when you're pregnant?"

Bea looked at him. Then blinked. Then blinked again.

He sat on the edge of the bed, eyes wide and clearly traumatized. "Because I swear on my sword, my ship, and every jar of peach jam in this base — if you throw a spoon at me, I will cry. I will cry harder than you."

Bea giggled. "Nico—"

He leaned forward. "You have beautiful curls. Gentle hands. You read in soft voices and say 'please' when you're mad. But I saw what pregnancy did to Vicky. Bea. Babe. Will you warn me if you ever feel a ladle-throwing urge coming on?"

She couldn't hold it anymore, she laughed so hard her book fell onto the blanket.

"I promise," she said through laughter, "I will never throw a spoon at you."

Nico exhaled dramatically. "Thank God."

Bea scooted closer and leaned her head on his shoulder, still giggling. "But if I do cry because papayas aren't cold enough..."

He immediately nodded. "I'll freeze a whole tree."

She beamed.

He sighed in relief.

And somewhere down the hall, a faint voice shouted:

"MATT, DON'T YOU DARE FALL ASLEEP WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Nico flinched. "I'm making ice packs for backup. Just in case."

Bea patted his hand lovingly. "You're going to be a great dad, Nico."

He blinked.

Then smiled slowly.

"...Only if I survive your pregnancy."