ALL MINE 2

twenty-four

[ PART 1 - FINALE ]

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The quaint office smelled of mints and sanitizer. It brought Solana comfort and gave her the ability to be free and share her thoughts without feeling so dejected and closed in. A slender woman sat across from her with a pad in her hand. She had a reddish complexion with sandy brown curls covering her face, and she wore glasses. The woman appeared to be in her mid-thirties. She would scribble down a few notes, taking in what the young college student said.

"How are your grades looking?" The woman's raspy voice asked as she rested her pen between her fingers. "Two weeks ago, you mentioned how you were struggling with Anatomy and Physiology."

"Oh, that..." Solana glanced at the ceiling and sighed before adding, "I passed the class. I didn't get the A I wanted, but I pushed for a decent grade."

This felt unreal. Solana couldn't believe Diane convinced her to attend therapy sessions. Initially, she thought it was invasive and weird to sit on a couch and spill her guts to a stranger. However, over time, she began to take a strong liking to her therapist, Courtney. She was nice, friendly, and knew how to make Solana comfortable. They talked about everything and formed a nice bond.

"That's quite impressive, Solana." Courtney nodded with a soft smile. "I'm happy to hear that you passed. How do you feel now that you're done?"

"I'm tired..." Solana trailed off with honesty, "My head feels crammed." She touched her freshly braided hair and added, "Hopefully, I can use this break to relax and get my mind right."

"Well, that sounds nice," Courtney responded. "I think you should do exactly that. Push away the books and give your brain a rest. So, what's going on with your journal?" Courtney asked her. 

Solana thought about the journal Courtney had gifted her. She didn't start writing in the notebook until a month ago. Initially, she assumed writing was pointless and it wouldn't help. However, Solana had a few issues on her mind and decided to jot down some notes to herself. The scribbles gave her some relief, and she eventually started writing more and more until she felt better.

"I'm writing more." Solana muttered before sighing, "It's like clearing my mind...well, kind of when I'm not busy worried about my classes." She pulled at her shirt before adding, "Nowadays it feels like I can't talk to anyone about my problems without them throwing it in my face." Solana's eyes widened as she immediately spewed, "But you. I can talk to you. Now."

"That's normal, and it's a start." Courtney rasped before sighing, "How about the dreaming? When we last talked, you told me that you were still seeing Desirae in your dreams."

Solana grieved Desirae's death but eventually tried pushing it to the back of her mind. She didn't want to think about it because it drove her to depression, resulting in her feeling rejected and growing cold and mean. She didn't want to behave that way; therefore, she tried not to think about it. Unfortunately, she only had so much control over her dreams. Solana still imagined Desirae in her arms, dying and choking on her blood.

"I don't always see her, but those dreams still happen." Solana pushed out honestly, looking at her fingers, "I wake up...sweating horribly and...and sometimes I wake up my boyfriend. He soothes me through it."

"Granite is still in your corner."

"Yeah." Solana nodded.

"Do you consider him a security blanket?"

Solana looked at Grant as her protector. He was a tall, robust man who defended her by default. She leaned into him, showing a specific dependency on him.