Confusing // Ethan Dolan

Chapter twenty-nine

From Ethan: thank you for last night. i really appreciate what you did for me... i love you, i'm sorry

Receiving these kind of texts makes me want to regret everything that happened the past week. Going to that party, worrying about Cameron's shout, seeing Ethan and Madison. Perhaps if I didn't find out I'd be next to Ethan right now, kissing him, holding his hand, touching him...

What am I thinking? If I didn't find out? I can't stand cheaters. Why would I say that? He gets the best and worst out of me.

To Ethan: no problem

Last night he kept telling me how sorry he is and how much he loves me. I want to believe him, I want to be with him again, but I don't think I can.

He might still feel something towards Madison and that possibility kills me. How am I going to trust him again?

Sleeping with him last night was a mistake, but I don't regret it. I know what I feel for Ethan and nothing can change that, nothing is going to change that. Not even the fact that he cheated on me. I'm in love with him.

From Ethan: do you really miss me?

To Ethan: you remember our conversation?

From Ethan: yeah.. i wasn't that drunk haha

To Ethan: i do miss you

I was hoping he wouldn't remember my confession, but he obviously did. I'm certain he knows I miss him. Even if I broke up with him, he knows he made a huge impact in my life.

We've been dating for almost five months now, it's been a long time yet it seems like it was yesterday when we hated each other.

From Ethan: what can i do for you to forgive me?
From Ethan: i need you baby

I wish I knew the answer to that question...

To Ethan: i want to trust you again. i need to. but that's not up to me, it's you who needs to figure out what to do.

• • •

The week goes by very quickly. I feel happier than before, more alive. Maybe the encounter with drunk Ethan at my house helped me a little bit.

"So, what are our plans for tonight?" Cameron asks as the three of us sit down and start eating our lunch.

"I heard there's a party, I don't remember who's though." Violet answers.

"Billy's?" I ask. Today in my biology class I heard some girls talking about it.

Cameron groans, "that douche from the football team. He's annoying but we're going anyways."

We finish our lunch and agree going to my house after school and prepare ourselves for the party. I'm not planning on going to Cameron's house anytime soon.

In a blink of an eye, my ears are filled by the sound of the bell indicating that is time for us to leave. Finally.

I'm ready to start this weekend. I feel like today might be a new and fresh start for me.

"Your parents are still in that business trip?" Violet asks opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"No, they came back last week." I answer.

"That sucks. I love being home alone." Cameron adds.

"Yeah," I say thinking about what happened the last time I was home alone. Him.