Confusing // Ethan Dolan

Chapter eight

When I felt his lips I realized I never felt more alive. They're so soft and big. This kiss is nothing like our last kiss, this is nice, cute, beautiful.

I can feel that he wants to kiss me, and I know that I want to kiss him. I'm kissing him.

Our lips begin to move in sync. He places his hands perfectly on my hips, my hands are around his neck, touching his hair.

I can feel his breath. He's breathing hard may I add.

Quickly he pushes me against a wall, still not breaking the kiss. He kisses my neck several times, making me breathe hard.

I can't get enough of this, he touches every part of my body. I want more. I need more.

I don't care who founds out about this, I need him to want more like I do.

"Ethan," I whisper in his ear.

"Do you want me to stop?" he says in between kisses.

"No."

"Good. Because I don't want to either."

This is getting heated, not like the first time. I wish it wouldn't happened but it did and I really regret it, because if this kiss would it be our first kiss, this would be a lot less confusing.

I'm such an hypocrite person. I'm saying he's confusing when I am confusing too! One day I hate him and the next one I'm dying for him.

I don't know what's happening with me right now. I'm not really this type of girl, I don't usually kiss boys like there's no tomorrow but this? I wish we can stay like this forever. Just kissing.

He makes my mind go wild, I can't stop thinking about him since the first time I saw him. Would he feel the same thing towards me?

"I'm sorry, what have I done, I'm sorry," he says pulling back

"Wait what?"

"I'm sorry Malena, I'm-It's my fault all of what you've been through this weeks and I'm-"

"I don't care about that. Madison is a stupid immature girl, I don't care about her."

"I shouldn't have kiss you, I shouldn't have asked you if you're okay."

"You know? For a second I thought you weren't that bad, that underneath that "bad boy" reputation you were nice. But I'm wrong, and thank God you proved me wrong. I don't understand you, really. Why would come here and be nice and then regret everything and I'm sure you're going to ignore me for the next weeks"

"No. You don't understand," he insists.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"Look I'm not the guy you're looking for," Like I didn't know that before.

"I know you're not. But I wish you could've told me that earlier."

"That wouldn't change the fact that-No, I don't want to be in your life, I only screw up things and I don't to screw you up."

"That wouldn't change the fact that what? What were you about to say?" I ask.

"Nothing, okay? Just, I'm going to stay out of your life,"

"Stop giving me excuses, you're not going to screw me or anything up," I say.

"Yes, you don't know me, I always screw up everything. My life is fucked up."

"At least tell me what you were about to say." I insist.

"No, it won't change anything," he says.

"Ethan, tell me, now"

"That wouldn't change the fact that I like you, okay? Now, I'm going to leave," he says trying to open the door.

"I won't leave you alone. I like you too. Even if you're fucked up, even if you're going to screw me up. I don't care."

"Why would you like me? I'm nothing but a bad person."

"I like you because I'm interested on you, I want to get to know you and I can help you become a better person. Don't say you're nothing because we both know that's wrong. You can't see yourself the way I see you, but I know that you're a good person, even if sometimes you act like an asshole. Even if you don't smile that often. Even if you think everyone likes Grayson better than you. Even if you hate yourself."

"What are you doing to me Malena?"